Progress

4/24/15 -- Well, Last Monday I saw a Neurologist at my local clinic, to go over the symptoms concerning my headache and everything going along with it.  We discussed a variety of different ways to solve my problem.  After establishing that the MRI and my reflexes are all good, meaning nothing obviously physical is going on.  Then the Dr. asked me if I could pinpoint exactly where the pain starts, to which I responded, yes.  Then he said we could go the conservative route and he listed the different things - but I said that I was beyond the conservative route because the Topamax wasn't really working anymore.
He then proceeded to talk about 2 other avenues that were more targeted (one sort of-one definitely) One approach, which we did first, was prednisone, which is an anti-inflammatory, to calm the nerve down.  {You see, there is a nerve that goes from you neck into your head, for me that nerve was inflamed and the source of the headache, it would actually throb then "explode"  to the rest of the head.}  The other route is an target injection, right to the nerve in the head. [yes it's a shot in the head lol]
   So, we first tried the prednisone.  I started it the next day, which was Tuesday.  The throbbing actually stopped but the rest of my head was numb which strange. On Thursday, I had to take the young man I nanny, to a school for some testing, while I was testing the Neurologist emailed me with the results of blood tests that he ordered and he had inquired how my headache was doing.  I told him that my head was numb and the headache was intense.  At first he wasn't too concerned because he said to allow for some healing which I could understand.  By Sunday, I had woke up feeling rather strange, I got up to go to the bathroom and I was felling dizzy (my definition of dizzy)   I wasn't able to go to church plus I really wasn't feeling like being like being around all those people, church was was having a single service and a potluck.  However, there was somewhere else I wanted to be that involved little children, a special family of children, so I took my Immitrex to put the headache in check so I could be around those wonderful children.
   So, on Monday I emailed the Neurologist to update him on the stuff that happened on Sunday. To which he responded - inquiring about the Chiropractor - I let him know that I had an appointment on Wednesday then I explained this man's technique and that he has tried to alleviate this headache and has not been able to.  He then came back with going ahead the targeted injection and he said he could add to a 7:30am or a noon which I said a Wed, Thurs, or Fri. Noon.  I called the clinic and scheduled it for Thursday at noon, the sooner, the better yet couldn't be on Wednesday because I already had a Dr.'s appt. that required me leaving early so didn't want to do both in one day. 
   Thursday came and I went in and the Neurologist and I discussed what had happened on this past Sunday and such.  Plus, I brought up the visit I had with Dr. Smith the afternoon before and owned up to the fact that I could quite remember all of the beginning of the visit, I did kind of start it for him.  He was actually able to pick up because it was a scenario of a 'what if' this injection doesn't work? Basically between him and Dr. Smith would have to tweak my meds to manage the headache.
  Any way, he went out and got the two needles, came back in and had me sit on the exam table, he made the table shorter while making the comment that I wasn't that tall. I laughed, thanked him for reminding me that I was vertically challenged, 😄 The Neurologist asked me to point where the pain starts so he could put alcohol around the area and begin to get an idea where the nerve should be.  He located the spot and put the first needle in which was the longer lasting lidocaine, he took his time making sure that the medication was good and in there, that my head was good and numb.  The next needle was the nerve blocker, after the initial needle prick I didn't feel anything else.  All the while he was putting that stuff into my head the Neurologist kept asking me if I was ok.  I most definitely appreciated that.  
   Today,  I have been without headache pain for 24 + hours which absolutely awesome! I have forgotten what it's like to be without pain in my head.  To be without fog and exhaustion.  Even though I am tired because of the medication I am not a tired partly because of being told to back off a little of the Topamax but also because I am not in mega headache pain which is AWESOME! Thank you Lord!

Back down the Hole

4/21/15 -- Well, I made a slide back down the hole - of not wanting to live any more.  I just couldn't and still am having a very difficult time dealing with the headache pain and the emotional pain that I am dealing with.  I met with my Counsellor, last Tuesday, and admitted to him that walking thru fire was more appealing to me, right now/over the last couple of weeks than dealing with the pain both physical and emotional, right now.  Then, of course the next question he asks is, "how often, in the last two weeks, have I thought about suicide?" To which I thought about it and answered, once or twice-as recently as Saturday.  Seriously thought about driving up to the ER and just saying that I couldn't hand the physical and emotional pain any more.  I didn't because someone needed me and I had two appointments coming up that I was very much hoping help. The first one was the neurologist for this headache and the second was the Counsellor.  That weekend tho, I was taking close to the max dose of the Topamax to get a control of the headache which really didn't help much on Saturday, but Sunday I felt ok.
       However, this inability to focus and remember stuff is crazy! I feel like I am drowning or something because I just can't handle the two different kinds of pain at the same time. To top everything all off, I am waking up an hour before my alarm goes off and unable to get back to sleep which then means that I am tired for the rest of the day.
     I go to see the Neurologist-who is a younger man than I and explain to him the entire situation, making sure I don't forget anything.  He asks questions, looks at the MRI-looks deeply into my eyes with a little bright light and checks all my reflexes and all are normal.  So, then he asks if I can pinpoint a specific place where the headache starts and I told him that I could, so then I showed him.  He explained that there is a nerve there that goes down into the neck along the spinal column and sometimes it and become inflamed.  He suggested a couple of conservative approaches to which I responded with; I think that I am beyond the 'conservative' approach.  So, then he suggested trying prednisone because it is a burst of an anti-inflammatory to see if that calms the nerve down.  The Neurologist also suggested another slightly more invasive approach; which is a 'cortisone' type injection directly to the nerve to calm it down-hopefully this will be a longer term solution and 'put this fire out' as he has stated and eventually my entire head will stop hurting and I will have relief.  This procedure can be done in his office and he is willing to get me in early in the morning or over his lunch hour.  This kinda scares me but the pain-length of time and severity out weighs my fear.  I am sick and tired of the pain and of being tired because of the pain.

Interesting Days

4/7/15 -- I will try to keep this as encapsulated as possible.  The last couple of weeks have been rough and interesting because my "migraine" has been really taking a toll on me in way shape of form.  I had emailed Dr. C. J. Smith about it but when I had not gotten a pretty quick response, I figured he was on vacation, had no idea it was a 2 week vacation. I wish someone in his office would have let me know that.  A nurse actually called me last week after having spoken to him and we discussed 2 options that Dr. Smith proposed, she was writing down what I told her so that she could go back to him with accurate info. Then she would get back with me as soon as she had spoken to him.  Long story short, the dose of Topamax has been increased to 100mg in the morning on top of the 100mg that I take at night along with the scheduled appt to see a Neurologist, yipee.  Just what I want to see a brain specialist.  I just hope that he can find something to figure out on how to deal with this pain, cause I don't really want to take any more medication, any of the stronger classes that involve the other types of side effects that I am sure I don't like.
  Then this past Saturday, I ran into someone at a retail store and she something to me that took me completely wrong.  She didn't mean to say anything to offend, irritate, or hurt me but it did. Sort of.  What she said just sent me down a road that I haven't been down since last July.  So, not a good thing.  Then my headache just began to take over again, I couldn't go to do something at church on Wednesday night cause I was in so much pain. I heard from my regular Dr. and he suggested to take my topamax up to the max level but only for a short time.