Here they come.......

12/16/15 -- Well, here they come, the stupid holidays.  Sorry people, but I just ain't feeling them right now.  This just has been a rough year + and am not in the mood to celebrate, don't have much to celebrate in my life, at the point.  Don't get me wrong, I am thankful for a great many things:  Job, place to life, food and other things both monetary and non-monetary but the one thing that I desire just hasn't happened as of yet.   My Counselor, has encouraged me to move from one set of emotions to another {i.e. from depression to grieving} and as I was working on doing that, my headache returned to the forefront.  This headache has been pretty subdued for a while, which is a very good thing, but when My Counselor suggestion moving from depression to grieving and I was working on doing that - trying to wrap my "head" around the idea and my mind taking things to the opposite extreme, the whole process was just causing the headache to return.  So, during my las session, as I was discussing this with my Counselor, he suggested that my body just isn't ready for the switch.  He suggested that I listen to my body and not go there, right now, at least as the "so called holiday season" is almost upon us.  Just knowing that I won't get to see me granddaughters and their parents {most especially my son} has/is causing me to just want to curl up into my "shell".  I will also be staying off facebook during the whole weekend.  The same will be applied to new years eve.
   There are parades/football games that I will be watching both of those days.  Christmas eve I was invited to a person's home for dinner and games, their married daughter/son in-law will be there and I have a gift for them.  After that I will not be leaving my apartment which means I will be parking in the back parking lot of the building that I live in, so I won't have to move my car from one side of the street due to the "calendar parking" that is in place in my town.  I am going to make a number of different appetizers to heat those days then I won't have to cook anything major since there is no one to share with anyway.
  I do still have my faith, however still struggling, I know that just because I believe in Jesus/God that doesn't mean the my life will be easy.  The Bible does state that there will be trials and temptations after all this world is far from perfect and so are the people in it. (myself included)  God/Jesus is with us thru the "storm" no matter what it is, He promises to bring us thru it but He doesn't say how long it will take.  Bummer

Apology

  So, it has been quite a long time since my last post.  I offer no excuses.  I have been doing a lot of 'mental' stuff lately.  I just haven't been able to do much typing lately.
  My counselor has given me quite a challenge and there has been a change in schedule at work so I have been adjusting to that schedule and kinda, sorta ignoring this blog.  I know that I shouldn't but that is just the way it has been.
  Even now I am not quite sure what I need to be typing here because so much has been going on and I don't know quite how to "put it on paper" so to speak.
  The picture of the clouds is one of many that I have taken over the years, there is something about clouds that I really like.  There are times that they are designed in such a way they look like things, like animals, people, or other things like that.  It is so awesome, for me the ultimate ARTIST is GOD.  Sometimes it looks like HE took a paintbrush and just painted the sky in such wonderful and beautiful colors.  Also, sometimes I wish that I could just be up in those clouds floating along, touching each and very one of them.

  These pictures were taken on my way home from a real good friend's house, some time ago.  I really like when the sun and clouds mix, then you get some really beautiful colors.

  Colors, sometimes they make me think of a tapestry that God paints with HIS brush and color pallet.  Just imagine, God's color pallet has to be the most colorful pallet ever!

  Then there are the sundown colors that come as the sun is setting.
  Those colors are something else.
I really am struggling with a change that my Counselor has suggested and believe or not my Pastor completely agrees with him.  The change is a good change that will help me to move past this ''place'' that I have been emotionally ''stuck'' in for quite awhile.
  I will fill you all in very soon.
Thank you for being patient.