12/16/15 -- Well, here they come, the stupid holidays. Sorry people, but I just ain't feeling them right now. This just has been a rough year + and am not in the mood to celebrate, don't have much to celebrate in my life, at the point. Don't get me wrong, I am thankful for a great many things: Job, place to life, food and other things both monetary and non-monetary but the one thing that I desire just hasn't happened as of yet. My Counselor, has encouraged me to move from one set of emotions to another {i.e. from depression to grieving} and as I was working on doing that, my headache returned to the forefront. This headache has been pretty subdued for a while, which is a very good thing, but when My Counselor suggestion moving from depression to grieving and I was working on doing that - trying to wrap my "head" around the idea and my mind taking things to the opposite extreme, the whole process was just causing the headache to return. So, during my las session, as I was discussing this with my Counselor, he suggested that my body just isn't ready for the switch. He suggested that I listen to my body and not go there, right now, at least as the "so called holiday season" is almost upon us. Just knowing that I won't get to see me granddaughters and their parents {most especially my son} has/is causing me to just want to curl up into my "shell". I will also be staying off facebook during the whole weekend. The same will be applied to new years eve.
There are parades/football games that I will be watching both of those days. Christmas eve I was invited to a person's home for dinner and games, their married daughter/son in-law will be there and I have a gift for them. After that I will not be leaving my apartment which means I will be parking in the back parking lot of the building that I live in, so I won't have to move my car from one side of the street due to the "calendar parking" that is in place in my town. I am going to make a number of different appetizers to heat those days then I won't have to cook anything major since there is no one to share with anyway.
I do still have my faith, however still struggling, I know that just because I believe in Jesus/God that doesn't mean the my life will be easy. The Bible does state that there will be trials and temptations after all this world is far from perfect and so are the people in it. (myself included) God/Jesus is with us thru the "storm" no matter what it is, He promises to bring us thru it but He doesn't say how long it will take. Bummer
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