Once Again

12/30/18 -- Welp, the holidays are here, altho, they are almost done, thank goodness. I have to say that the holidays aren't exactly the funnest of times for me, at this point in time.  I have had too many people, in my family, pass way over the last year along with the fact that I am still not able to spend any time with my granddaughters.  So, this years group of holidays aren't exactly leaping for joy or fun.  I have even decided to scale back the frequency of messages to my son simply  because he has be rude and dishonoring by not responding to the messages within a reasonable amount of time. It's quite disheartening and discouraging to not get any response whatsoever, with regards to spending time with them.  So, I am pretty
much done sending messages as frequently as I had been.
  I am not giving up, not by a long shot!  I am going to send them a care package with some cookies, and a card.  I do know the way to my son's stomach, I am pretty much sure that hasn't changed much.  Not to mention the fact that I know the girls will enjoy the goodies too.  I just wish I could have made them with the girls, but oh well, someday.
  I am just not going to drive myself crazy. I was talking to my Uncle about all the rudeness going on and he basically told me to stop driving myself crazy, then defined crazy as "doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result."  Of course, he did talk to me about different thing associated with the difficulty that my son is presenting to me and explaining how I should approach or not approach the situation.
  My Uncle brought up something that I am still having issues with trying to understand but I still have to figure out what to do so that I am not spending my life waiting on my son.  I do so feel like I am waiting on him, instead of doing something.  However, I don't know what to do or what I should be doing.  I feeling my life is in a kind of limbo because I don't what I would like to do, but it depends on our reconciliation, at least in my mind it does.  I have this situation of only two jobs neither of which support me sufficiently enough for me to completely content.

Holidays

12/14/18 -- So, the holidays are creeping up, as in Christmas and New Years Eve and New years day.  Once again I will more than  likely won't be seeing my grandchildren.  I haven't heard a peep from my son concerning the visiting of my grandchildren.  I am and can get so irritated about this but it really doesn't do me much good.  However, I am not really liking the fact that I will most likely not see them when in fact there was a glimmer of hope from my son, at the memorial service of my dad.  Then there's the do I allow my feelings to be hurt or just be irritated?  I don't even know.  I know that I am spending the night in Beloit this coming Saturday night with some friends who have a large family and I have come to know, quite well.  Altho, since they moved to Beloit I have really missed my time with them.  I used to be able to get my fill of them on a regular basis, but it has been so much more difficult due to the distance and how busy they have become since starting the church.
  I am still not quite sure what I should do concerning my employment status.  There are parts of me that completely enjoys what I am doing and really just want some sort of job that will fill in some time four out of the five day; which would be a very part time job.  Then there is the whole, I don't know that I am satisfied with the fact that I am not making enough to support myself as effectively as I prefer.  I like the childcare that I am doing but not happy that it's not supportive enough.

Title, What Title??

12/3/18 -- I had a text conversation with my uncle concerning the last of response that I get from my son, whenever I text him concerning spending time with him and his children.  He seemed to think that I could be bitter, however, I am so more frustrated with my son, than anything else.  This is a child that said that he wanted me to start getting to know the children, but he is the one that has been most uncooperative in that area.  My uncle then suggested that I stop texting and requesting to spend time with them, but then if I do that; I am accused of not wanted to see my grandchildren.  Consequently, I have to to keep showing that I want to spend time with them, just do my darnedest to not expect a response even tho it is so rude to not respond in a reasonable amount of time.
  Also have rely on prayer cause I know that God isn't done restoring this relationship.  We are still at the very beginning unfortunately there is no forcing someone to continue the process, he has to be ready as does she.  She may be the one that isn't ready despite what she says.

Whatever

11/30/18 -- Gotta love how life works, uh no!!  I haven't worked in one family, all but one day this week, which sucks because that is extra, gas money that I can use.  The grandpa apparently hasn't adapted to the cold very well, this winter (and winter hasn't even kicked completely all in)  I was there on Wednesday but that has been it.  I did get paid by the other family, which is nice.
  I really could use at least one part-time job that isn't quite so dependent on whether people need me or not.  I would like the job so that taxes get paid via a job, another job.  I gotta figure out my total earnings this years, via the spreadsheets that I have been learning how to use.  Thankfully, I do still have my book from the class that I took, last fall, that I should be able to figure out how to get to the year end figures that I need.
  The last time that I was with mom, she told me about some money that hospice sent back to mom, that went to the nursing facility in Stockton, where me sister was til she died.  I got the mail from the mailbox and discovered and envelope that I new was from mom, and low and behold, a check that was just less than half what she was sent.  Now, I can get my oil changed and hopefully the trunk opened too.

DEATH

11/20/18 -- Another death in my family!!!! UUggg I am so tired of death, this year!!!  However, the family knew this would eventually happen because my uncle gave up!!!  Rather selfishly, he gave up quite awhile ago.  He had been living with diabetes and as his eyesight began to really fail, he slowly started giving up.  He was depressed but didn't really talk about it.  He was on meds for the depression but when not seeking counseling to go with that depression the meds won't solve the problem all by themselves.
  He ended up in the hospital and the nursing home all just this year.  He got so bad that he just didn't want dialysis or any other medical interference.  He had stopped eating and his kidneys hadn't been functioning all that well, eventually just gave up.  This man lost his will to live some time ago, which is something that I don't understand, but then again neither did his wife.  This is one funeral that don't think we all will be going to because mom just isn't up to traveling and with my sister's job, I am pretty sure that she won't be able to get any time off.  I don't have the money to drive and I won't drive by myself.  Ohio is just too far for me to drive all by myself.  GGGGGRRRR!!!!

Struggling (maybe)

11/19/18 -- I gotta admit that the fact that my son not contacting me is kinda starting me mess with my emotions, a bit.  Ok, maybe more than a bit.  I want so much to be able to spend some time with them this holiday season, but I can't hold my breath cause he has been absolutely lousy at getting back to me after my messages.     

      I do have a couple of places to go, on thanksgiving day but I haven't decided yet cause it kinda depends on my mom and what she wants to do. (if anything)  I spoke to my pastor's wife, of whom I have been friends with, for 8 years, but I haven't spent as much time with them, since they moved.  She invited me to their place on Thursday, which I am seriously thinking about taking advantage of, and even make a secret plan to spend the night and come home on Friday.
      My other idea is another family with a bunch of children, has also extended an invitation for me to come to their place.  I am not holding my breath on spending any time with my son and family cause he hasn't gotten back to me on any plans that he/they have.
  I really hate that things still haven't progressed as much as I was hoping, but I really can't push, despite how annoyed and irritated I am.  

 

 

           
 

Life

11/17/18 -- So, I can't believe we already almost to the end of the year.  Too many things have happened this year that aren't necessarily the greatest.  2 deaths, including a trip to family for a funeral. I really still don't have a consistent, non-dependent on people job.  Meaning, not dependent on whether the people go on vacation or not, job.  I could use something to fill in some time a couple of days a week.  Something that pays taxes.
  I still haven't seen my grandchildren, since the meeting at Chik-fil-a.  I haven't seen the oldest granddaughter, cause she was on her way home from a mission's trip, that day.  My son has been absolutely lousy as keeping me up to date on what is going on concerning his work, and his wife's work and just let me know.  I just feel like he's not doing his best, I could be wrong but that is where is communication to me would come in handy.  It's so irritating because I just don't know what he's thinking, he doesn't let me know.  I don't that he's seen the messages because my phone lets me know when he's read something. 
  Today, I will be assembling a large pan of lasagna to take to church with me, then lunch at my friends' house.  Their husband is in Africa, and he's a chef - the main meal make in their household.  So, I told her that I would make and bring them a batch of lasagna.  I bought the stuff for my lasagna, yesterday evening, however I managed to forget to pick up the noodles for this meal.  I did get the red part of the sauce pre-made along with the white/cheese sauce, last night.  I just need to go a pick up a box of noodles, par boil them, and assemble the lasagna.  I also, have some cheese to shred that will go on the meal.  I will take the lasagna with me to church, after which I will follow my friends to their house, and will bake the meal at their place.

Stuff

11/15/18 -- I still haven't gotten a job that can fill in the couple of days that I have open in the morning til about 2pm. Oh well, not for lack of trying but then getting discouraged, so then quitting looking.
  The so so news it that I am paying some rent, which makes me feel better because I am not getting to live here completely free.  The amount of rent is based on the one job that I have that is paying me decently enough to include as income on my recertification for rent.  The second job is just gas money, I only work a couple of hours a day for 4 days a week, so they pay me gas money.  They can't afford to pay me much and I am not out to break anyones budget.
  I really do like my "new to me" car.  There is so much of a spacial difference in the Nissan compared to the Buick.  Aside from that it is fine.  I really like that I can lock and unlock the car by using the fob that came with the keys.  I do have to do an oil change on this vehicle, but I can't quite afford to do it right now.
  I am still struggling with emotions because my son still hasn't been able to make it so that I can come for a visit.  To make things worse, he isn't communicating with me to keep me posted on what is going on, as far as, how busy his is or Leesa is, and stuff like that.
I am doing my best to not dwell on it and get to frustrated.  I am really hoping that they can figure something out that we can spend some time together during this holiday season.  I really just want to spend time with my family, most importantly my grandchildren.

Car

11/3/18 -- I picked up my car, at church, last Sunday.  I had to arrange to be picked up to get to church, so I could drive the car home.  I went to he pastor's office to pick up the keys and the paper work that included the title that was signed over to me.  There is a big spacial difference in foreign made cars versus American made cars.  In American made vehicles there is plenty of space to sit behind the wheel.  This Nissan space behind the wheel is quite a bit smaller in comparison to the Buick.  However, I don't mind too much, so long as I work on losing weight and not gain any more.  It drives nice, gas mileage isn't what it should be because it is, more than likely, due for an oil change.  I do like the size, though because it makes it easier to park, especially parallel park.  The buick was bigger and more difficult to parallel park when I wasn't positive I had enough space.  this Nissan sort of reminds me of the cavalier that I once had.  It seems that I keep getting stuck with tan or beige cars.  
Oh well, color isn't all that important.

People

10/27/18 -- Why do some people have to be such jerks, with zero provocation?  There is this woman in the building that I live in, that seems to constantly, want to cause trouble with everyone.  For the longest time, she would only speak directly to my upstairs neighbors, one of which, is my friend.  This morning I woke up to a series of messages on Facebook messenger, from her.  She managed to find me then thought she would get a rise out of me by the accusatory messages, she sent.  Well, I decided to be the better person, and NOT give her the dignity of responding to her.  I then proceeded to block her so she can't continue to message me nor will she be able to call.  Then I decided to report her as harassing me because I know that was her intent and to get a rise out of me.
  The thing of it is, the things that she is accusing me of are the things that she actually does!  That is the ironic thing.
  I don't ever pretend to be perfect in anything let alone in being a Christian, however she most definitely isn't either.  I don't pretend or profess anything.  I do my best to live out what I believe, knowing full well that I am failing because I am human, God is forgiving so long as we try, with his help.
  I want so much to tell this woman off, but at the same time I don't and refuse to stoop to her level.

News Already!

10/26/18 -- So, in my last post I mentioned that my car is broken and unsafe to drive.  Originally, the plan was for me to borrow a truck.  The truck that I have borrowed in the past on a couple of different occasions.  The truck was to be delivered today; well I received all call that instead of borrowing the truck I will be getting a car.  Someone is purchasing a 2004 Nissan Sentra for me and just giving me the car.  Talk about a God thing!  This is a God thing because I had zero idea what i was going to do.  I have zero money saved up, so I don't even know I would have been able to  solve this problem.

   This video really came to mind as I was confronted with this issue of a broken car.  I am not saying that I was depressed due to this situation, but I kept remembering that "God Only Knows" my life, my situation, therefore he only knows hows to solve my problems.  I am so thankful for the fact that I didn't have to go long at all before a vehicle was provided.
  I am thankful for the "body of Christ" and the obedient person who is purchasing the car from whom it is being sold, then gifting it to me.  I will have a vehicle that won't have to make payments.  To top it all off, it is way more gas efficient than my current car.     
   I don't know that color, or even if it a 4-door or 2-door but I do know the year, make, and model.  Also, I won't have to put any money into it, right away.

Whatever,

10/24/18 -- So, I was finally able to make it to a new Chiropractor, for me.  Last evening I was able to get into the Chiropractor instead of this morning.  I was hurting so bad, it was painful to breath.  Last night was the first appt., so there is the x-rays and filling out paperwork, and range of motion testing.  The only thing that he actually did last night was electric stimulation which was decided to relax the muscles surrounding the very painful area, in my back.  However, I was also scheduled to come in this morning, too.  This morning was the, going over the x-rays and the adjustment.  There is definitely more time to spend at the chiro. in order to get things in a much better order.
  To top things off, my mom informs me she she was in the ER (this was Monday evening)she spent the night in the hospital due to the high fever she had when she got to the ER.  The ER trip was the third on in as many months.  The can seem to get things figured out.  There has been a trip to her regular dr. so there is a working on of the issues that have been found out.  She was sent home with a prescription for antibiotics for 5 days cause they seem to think that she has an infection, given the condition of her white count, but they can find where in her body it is.  She now has an appt. with a cardiologist, next week.
  This is the "cherry on top" - I took my car to my mechanic, so he could take a look at it.  There has been a shimmy going on in the rear end.  Unfortunately, he didn't have good news for me.  The rear, left wheel assembly is no longer attached to the frame of the car, it rusted away.  The left tire is attached to the axle and there is still some attachment, but it isn't, at all, safe for me to drive, especially long distance.  The mechanic said the if I took it easy, I could get away with driving a short way, out of town, to continue to babysit my 9yr old.

It Has Been Way Too Long......

10/11/18 -- There has been so much going on and I feel like I have taken way to long of a break from the computer.  I really just haven't wanted to be on the computer, not sure really as to why.
  I am so way frustrated with my son, because after the conversation we had, at my dad's memorial service, there hasn't been much movement in the visiting, that he promised.  I have been texting him, anywhere from weekly, to bi-weekly, to more often.  I have said a variety of things to encourage conversation, like for him to call me, but to zero avail.  So, freakin irritating.  My last resort is for me to actually pick up the phone and call him rather than text, to see what happens.  I haven't done that, yet.
   There is a lot of stuff going on in this apartment complex, thanks to one particular resident that just like to cause problems because her life isn't going all that well.
  There is drama in this building that I would much rather avoid, completely.  I really wish I could just pick up and move, up closer to my son and his family, 3 hours north west of where I am now.  I just am not quite sure how to go about doing that as I have zero job up there, let alone a place to live.  I doubt there is anywhere temporary that I could move due to the whole cat thing.  I currently have 3 cats so I don't know quite how that I would work.
  Oh, then there's another death that is going to happen soon, in my family.  You see, so far, my youngest sister past away last Labor Day, then my dad dies in April, oh and my Aunt dies in July-ish, the next one is my Uncle.  My youngest Aunt's husband has been diabetic, and over the last several months, to years, has declined in health, more by his choice than the natural progression of the disease, to a certain extent.  You see, a number of years ago, his eyesight began failing to the point that he needed to have special computer monitor or equipment to enlarge the print on the monitor.  He didn't want any of the assistance.  He has been depressed but won't take advantage of talking to anyone, not even his own wife.  I just don't understand the stubbornness.  Yes, Yes, I know that men can be pretty darn stubborn with regards to their own health, then demonstrate how big of a "baby" they can really be when they do get sick.
  My Uncle got so bed that he wouldn't get out of bed and do anything for himself.  He got sick to the point of needing to put into the hospital, and currently is in the nursing facility/hospice.  According to my Aunt, he has refused any more dialysis, anymore medical treatment, and eating.  So, it's only a matter of time before he dies.  I really am not looking forward to that inevitability.  In my mind this is something that he could reverse, if he wanted to but he has lost the will to live, I don't get it as neither does his wife.
  When my other Aunt died, it just so happened that I had 2 complete weeks off from both jobs.  I won't have that luxury this time around.  I am currently off for one job but I have to work all day on Friday, for the second job.  The second job is typical 3-5pm Monday-Wednesday, and Friday but this Friday there is no school so therefore, I will babysit all day.

People/Neighbors

8/26/18 -- I gotta say that there are times that neighbors absolutely get on my nerves!!!
There is this couple upstairs and across the hall from me, they have chosen me as their confidante and counselor for their marriage. On the one hand I haven't really minded but there are times that I seriously do mind.  One of those times is when it's late and they won't leave me alone.  They both came down and talked to me yesterday, but he came down just as I was about to get into the shower and then she came down a few minutes later to hash out the thing that happened that made her mad.  When I was told what happened I laughed because everyone who does anything like bake or cook, in a kitchen has made such mistakes.  However, after she got up and left, he lingered because he wasn't done talking.  We talked about such a wide variety of things, cause this man cannot stay on topic, to save his butt!!!  However, it seems that is all ends up coming back full circle in some strange way.
  She seems to think that she has me fooled into thinking that I believe 100% what she says and that every disagreement is all his fault.  Oh, but she is sadly mistaken because they both are at fault!!  It takes to two make a marriage and keep a marital household but in her mind, it seems, that he should do everything (or pretty much everything)  because she works the most hours.  They both work at the same retail store, but in different departments, different stores, and hours.  Altho, he has recently transferred to her store due to the way things have been going in the current store, that he has been working in.
  Sorry for the delay in posting this.

Sucks

8/8/18 -- So, a couple weeks ago, I was contacted by a prospective employer to work with children on the autism spectrum.  We had a  phone interview then an, in person, interview, and after all that, I still didn't get the job.  I gotta admit that I am just sick and tired of not getting the job, after going thru the interview.  What gets me about it, this time around, is the fact that was contacted by them, and they didn't give me the job.  I guess this must not have been the right job for me.  I know that God is ultimately in control but it's just annoying that I didn't get the job, again.
  Last week, I filled in for the 4 children family's sitter, on Monday, then the last 3 days of the week.  Their regular sitter ended up in the hospital Sunday evening due to an illness; then the mom's place of work asked her to work Wed. thru Fri. so I actually got to earn some more money from this family.  Don't get me wrong, I do enjoy being around the children and actually kept busy, but the money that I earn from them, is nice too.
  Then, Monday morning, just as I am about to walk out of the door, to go visit my mom cause a couple of my Aunts were up; when I get a message from the one child family, who needed me in an emergency situation.  The sitter who took my place, her husband ended up in the ER due to suspected heart problems.  So, I ended up watching the little girl on Monday and Tuesday.  She paid before I left last night because she was anticipating going back to the regular sitter.  I ended up with some cash, much needed.
  I need to somehow get a job, one that either can fill in a couple days during the week, or an outright full time job.                                 

Here I Go Again....

7/27/18 -- Whenever, I sit down to type this blog, I try not to make it too long.  I just don't want my readers to lose interest.  I know that I also need to post something more regularly to attract more readers and hopefully gain more.  I do, at times, feel like I could type for quite some time, as I sit down to type.
  I am excited because I got so many clothes and I haven't had new clothes, of this quantity in such a long time.  I now have plenty of tops and skirts along with dresses that I can wear to work, if it's the right place for dresses and skirts.  I now could use some new pants, but that'll come eventually, whenever I get a job that allows for the money to spend on clothes.  I also can use some new underwear, and bras, along with maybe a camisole or two.
  I have job interview on Monday to work with Autistic children.  I hadn't really thought about doing that but I wouldn't mind trying something new, and learning something new in workin with children.  I love children and have never worked with children in this way, so if I am successful in getting this job, it will be great to work with children in this capacity.
  With regard to death, I must say that I am done with it for now.  3 family members dying in less than a year is a bit much.  However, I do realize that I don't have any control or say over whether someone dies or not.  It's just the fact that 3 in a short amount of time is a bit ridiculous.  Anyway, Now I am checking in on my Uncle to be sure he's doing ok.  I really want to keep in contact with him and the rest of my family and texting is a great way to do it.

Once Again, It's Been Awhile......

7/26/18 -- Yes, once again, it has been awhile since my last posting.  I have just had an aversion to getting on my computer.  I spent so much time on it, job hunting and nothing coming of the few interviews and bunches of uploads, so I just stopped getting on as often if at all.
  Well, since my last posting I lost one babysitting job, the one that I would go and watch an 8yr. old little girl.  I had picked up a better paying one day a week babysitting job so the grandma had to find someone to pick up that one day.  So, she was able to find someone but this person, who does childcare in her home, wouldn't take the little girl just one day a week, she wanted her all week, so I was done. Right at the same time when I wasn't going to be needed for two weeks for the one day a week childcare job.
  Unfortunately, that job loss came at a good/not so good time because that Saturday; I was at my mom's house when she got the call that her sister in-law/my aunt has passed away, that very day.  So, I knew that we would be going to the funeral that next week.
  We did go to that funeral, which was on Wednesday, of that following week.  That was a rough yet good thing to go see parts of my family that I haven't seen in over 10 years.
I gotta say that there has been quite enough death in my family!!! 3 people in less than a year have passed away, in less than a year, in my family, I am done with death for awhile!!  It ended up that my sister, you youngest daughter, our mom, and myself all drove to Ohio, for this funeral.  We left midmorning on Tuesday and got to my mom's oldest sister's house about 7pm ish.  The drive was long but uneventful with my sister driving.  It was nice to be able to spend some interesting time with my cute little niece, opening things for her and having her call me Aunt.  I hadn't heard any of my nieces or nephews call me Aunt, in quite a long time.
  The funeral service was nice and it was great to see my Uncle whom I hadn't seen in 12 years, along with my cousins and their families. It is sad that my Aunt is gone, but good to see her whole family. 
  I did come away from that time in Ohio with 2 1/2 kitchen size garbage bags of clothes, from my mom's youngest sister.  My sister got 1 full bag cause those clothes I knew wouldn't have fit me, plus there was a few that I didn't like.  I had preliminarily gone thru those bags, the night before we left Ohio.  I basically got a whole new wardrobe from my Aunt.  The bags mainly consisted of shirts, some dresses and a couple of skirts. My Aunt is a bit taller than me so she didn't figure her pants would fit me.  Out of 6 dress there is only one that doesn't fit and one that has to be shortened by a little.  

It's Been Awhile, again....

7/1/18 -- I met my son and most of his family at a Chik fil-a about an hour from where I live, and 2 hours from him. (closest thing to meeting in the middle) 
  My daughter in-law had messaged me about 2-3 weeks ago, asking if my dad had any tools that my mom would be willing to either sell or give to my son, to help out with what he needs for his job.  I told that he has a bunch of tools, and asked what he needed.  She gave me a general list, which when I went back to mom's and took a look at what dad has in the basement, I was able to fulfill the request.  There was only one or two things that I couldn't account for: and that was a second batter pack and charger for the drill that I found.  I looked on Amazon to be sure that he could get the the charger and a second battery pack, and he can.  My Daughter in-law and I decided to meet in Madison to get the tools to my son.  
  We met at a Chik fil a and I actually had to overcome my "fear/nervousness" for driving in a high stinkin traffic area.  Thankfully, that restaurant wasn't too difficult to get too, but I just flat out despise driving in high traffic areas.  I literally have to have specific directions including the lanes that I need to be in to make the necessary turns on the right off ramps and such.
  I gotta say that I was overcome with emotion when I saw my two granddaughters, for the first time in like 3 years. I quickly got control because I knew I wouldn't get the same response, due to the fact they haven't seen me in that same length of time and my youngest doesn't even know me.  The middle one, I think just was being somewhat shy and unsure because I know she remembers me, it's just been a long time.  We need me time to get reacquainted and to get to know the youngest one.
  I will admit it was nice to hear my son call me mom, haven't heard that in a long time.
  I did tell my daughter in-law that the pictures that I have seen of my littlest granddaughter (even though she does an awesome job of capturing those beautiful blue eyes) just don't do her justice.  My littlest granddaughter is even cuter in person.

I Hate Surprises.......

6/15/18 -- Well, on the way home from work, on Tuesday, I see the last message that my mom left me - and it said " I am going to the ER."  Needless to say, I got on the phone, quickly to find out what the heck is going on. She had been in the Dr's. office and had some blood work done, she has been having some symptoms that were concerning.  The Dr. ultimately told her that one of the tests indicated a possibility of a blood clot in her lungs.  So, after eating a quick supper, and a sort of heated text messaging conversation with my Aunt, I headed into my hometown, to see my mom at the hospital. 
  She wasn't upset or freaking out, or anything. Calm as a cucumber, she was.  I got the lowdown on what lead to her ending up there, and then we just talked about a variety of different things.  The dr. came in and thru talking with mom and myself, he determined that it would be a good idea to get mom started on the water pill that was just prescribed by her dr, earlier in the day.  Minutes after getting a dose of the water pill, injected into her iv, she had to go the bathroom.
  Thankfully, she didn't have to be in the hospital all that long.  The dr. wanted to admit her and do an echocardiogram in the morning.  They did and the only thing that it showed was a thickening of something around her heart or something like that.  I can't quite remember all the details that she told me and that I read.  The belief is that sleep apnea could have something to do with all that she is experiencing. The swelling of her feet, the lack of real sleep at night, the shortness of breath (????).
  I have about had it with bad stuff happening in my family!  I am done!!!!it's time for good stuff to happen, no more attacks on health, on anyone !!!!!

Grieving Pt. 2

6/9/18 -- Grieving is most definitely and individual thing.  My mom is having a chaplin come to the house for a personal counseling session.  She just isn't getting what she needs from the grieving group that she had been going to.  I am still seeing my counselor but missed getting in on a cancelation, a week or so ago.  
  I know that I am struggling because there are things around my home that I just haven't really wanted to do, typical housekeeping stuff.  I do, do it but I then wait a long time before doing it again.  Not only that, but I am having a difficult time deciding what I want to purchase from the grocery store, when it's time.  I very much prefer going to the grocery store knowing exactly what I want to buy, cause I have a menu plan.
Lately, I have had a difficult time picking out a menu, to go to the store for the groceries.  I haven't be as faithful with my faith as I should be, I have been watching way too much tv, not too sure how to change it, again.  I will work thru this, I also know that God isn't that far away from me, all I have to to is reach out and grab onto him.  All I have to do is cry out and He is there.  I haven't turned my back, by any means, just doing the studying and reading that I should be doing.
  I haven't even really been on the computer very much, either.  I really hadn't been really wanting to be on the computer, much at all.  Sucks not truly feeling like doing stuff, or not wanting to.
  I have these neighbors that have their moments of bothering me more than I want to be bothered by them.  Sometimes, they just get on my nerves because they are so needy.  The man is someone who really hasn't been able to shed his past and grow up.  His parents.
  I have texted my son asking if we could plan a weekend that I could come up to see my granddaughters?  Telling him that I want to get to know my youngest granddaughter, reacquaint myself with the older two granddaughters and of course, get to know my daughter in-law.  He did get back to me stating the he would talk with his wife.  I still haven't heard back from him.  It would be nice if I could get up there before the oldest granddaughter is going on a mission trip sometime in the next couple of weeks.

Grieving

6/3/18 -- I am very thankful that the loss of both my little sister and dad didn't happen when I was in the deepest/darkest part of my depression!  I am struggling more with this than I expected, I guess.  I am having days when I just don't want to do anything, or I really have to talk myself into doing it.  Sometimes I talk myself out of doing it. For instance - I knew that I needed to go to the bank and and the grocery store on Friday but when I woke up, I just didn't want to do anything.  I spent the biggest part of the day trying to talk myself into going to the store because I knew that I was spending the biggest part of the day with my mom, Saturday.  So, I finally talked myself into going to run those errands at about 3:30 - 4:00pm  
  I did go and spend some time with mom, yesterday.  We met at an ice cream place for lunch and dessert.  Then we went back to her place because she wanted me to help her get (what used to be our playroom)straightened up (again) so when she gets ahold of my niece to do the work on the ceiling; it won't be such a pain in the rear to remove the stuff out.  You see, my niece has plenty of experience in construction, I guess you could call it.  
  You see, my dad bought the supplies to install a drop ceiling, in the old playroom, but he never followed thru on putting it in, when he retired, for reasons that only now, we understand.
  She did tell mom, awhile ago, that she would install the drop ceiling whenever mom is ready for her to do so.  Also, mom is getting ready for an auction.  A family friend suggested an auction, to help to get rid of most of not all of dad's stuff.  Not only that but the auction has the potential of bringing in people that are interested in the type of stuff that we have to sell.  Hopefully, by doing that mom will make some decent money on the stuff that we know she could, especially if we draw in the right demographic.
  At the same time, there are things that my sister and I want, that we can have without impacting what mom can still sell.

Perspective

5/28/18 -- Yesterday, as I was preparing to go to church, a thought just popped into my head regarding death.  There is a animated movie that my son pretty much grew up watching; in one of the scenes, the young lion is sad and kind of mopey, laying in the grass.  Then he sees a vision of his dad in the clouds, that reminds him he "lives" in him.  For some reason, the preverbal light bulb, just dawned on me.  You see, I have been quite sad, sadder than I expected, concerning the passing of my dad.  The thought popped into my head that even tho the physical presence of my dad, has moved on, my dad really isn't completely dead.  After all, I am my dad's daughter as is my younger sister; then there is my son, who looks like my dad, not to mention, he looks like his dad too.  All of which isn't a bad thing.  My son and I reconciled which does allow me to see my granddaughters and to get to know my daughter in-law.  I guess what I am saying is  - we have a part of our family members that pass away, within us.  So, in a way, they aren't completely dead and gone.
  You see, there may be physical attributes or mannerisms that we have that will either remind others of that family member or remind ourselves of that family member.  Heck there are things that my mom said to me growing up, that I found myself saying to my son, when he was growing up.  The funny thing is; as I am saying something to my son, I am also hearing my mom say the say thing, in my head.  By the way, my mom is still living.

Sorry About this.........

4/24/18 -- I have been off the blogging thing for awhile.  I have really be having some difficult times, here lately.  I haven't really wanted to do much "writing".
  I think that I have finally gotten to a place where I can start expressing myself, again.  I apologize for not blogging during this process, but I just didn't have the words to type or express.  I haven't really written in my diary either, as even just literally writing stuff down.
  I am so thrilled to be able to text my son directly rather than thru facebook, and I am able to see my granddaughters.  I can't wait til I can go up there, and spend some time with my granddaughters, (of course my daughter in-law)as soon as it works out.
Here's the thing,I am also trying to not get my hopes up too high, so that I am not all that disappointed.  I have to find a happy medium of being excited and not too....

Answer to Prayer

4/15/18 -- This past Saturday was the Memorial Service for my dad.  The was the first time that there was so many family members was actually in my hometown.  All but one of my mom's siblings, came up, including 2 spouses.  All of my dad's living siblings came up, including one spouse.  It was wonderful to see everyone.  All of my nieces and nephews were there and so was my son.  
 MY SON AND I RECONCILED AFTER THE MEMORIAL SERVICE!!!! Thank and Praise God!!!
I finally get to see my granddaughters, this summer, I am going to put in a request for Memorial weekend.  I now have my son's phone number and permission to text him.  I am far beyond excited yet I just can't believe it because it's been so long and I am almost afraid to let my expectations get to high, as far as, follow thru; yet I can't help but be excited.  I am going to be sending them a box for Dakotah's birthday, this coming Sunday.  I am sending some homemade chocolate chip cookies because I know that my son loves my chocolate chip cookies - plus I am sending a package of cookies from New Glarus Bakery, because I know my older granddaughters will remember them and the youngest one will like them, along with her sisters.

No Words

4/11/18 -- I know that there are a lot of gaps in my postings but I have not had much words to speak.
  

Death Cont........

4/6/18 -- I never, in a million years, did I ever expect that my dad would be the first to die and so stinkin' young!!!  I always that that my dad was too stubborn to die, so young.  I can't even begin to convey how hard it is to wrap my head around.  My dad is actually dead, like no longer around.  Even though I was never as close to my dad, as I so desired to be, I still very much loved him.  This next week is going to be very difficult.  My younger sister and I have to meet at mom's house to go over pictures that we would like to see on a poster board, and at the memorial service.  We have to finalize the arrangements, and make sure that all is set for using the church, for the memorial service.  We are using the same church we did for my little sister's Celebration of Life Service.  Also, most of my mom's siblings are coming up, and most of my dad's siblings are coming up, as well.  My son is coming down, unfortunately my daughter in-law isn't able to make it due to photo shoots, for Mother's Day.  I do believe that my oldest nephew is trying his hardest to come home south Carolina.  It'll be nice to see him.

Death.....

5/1/18 -- Well my dad passed away Sunday, evening. I had gone to visit him on Friday, then again Sunday around noonish because he just wasn't doing very well, at all.  Dad took a turn for the worst over the last couple of weeks.  The last time I saw him was 2 months ago.  When I saw him on Friday he looked dramatically different.  He had been sick, in the hospital, then back in the nursing home.  The PSP (progressive supra-nuclear palsy) caught up with him.  Mom, has had plenty of time to reflect over the last 8 years that dad had been retired; she realized that dad had started showing symptoms of this disorder when he retired.  More than that, she noticed them because he was home more.  The thing with this disorder; is that the patient dies within 10 years after the onset of symptoms.
  I am amazed that he declined so quickly, from the time I saw him 2 months ago.  I am more concerned about my mom, once again, than i am about myself.  My mom still is grieving over the death of my little sister, about 7 months ago.  Now, my sister and I will have to keep and eye and her and make sure she is getting out, not becoming a complete hermit. I don't blame her for not wanting to leave the house every now and again, but to never leave, that would become a problem.  My younger sister and I both have keys to her house because mom gave them to us, so we can make sure she is ok, if we need to.
  I had thought about canceling the upcoming appointment with my counselor, but decided against when I heard from my mom how bad my dad was getting.  I did try to reschedule it but couldn't so I will have to bring the child that I am taking care of with me to my counseling appt.

Stuff.....

04/20/18 -- I know it's been awhile since my last posting.  I have been dealing with a headache that just doesn't want to go completely away.  This headache really keeps me from doing things that I like doing especially when it involves being on the computer and stuff like that.  Right now it is finally at a reduced level of pain.
  I ended up doing to Madison to see a physician's assistant, one that was seeing patients in place of the one that I normally had been seeing.  She was on vacation for the week.  Any way the Physician's Assistant that I saw, did all of the same tests that I have had done before.  She did ask a lot of question, which I didn't mind answering because they helped to think about the headache pain.  For once for I had actually noticed that the headache was a bit different than the one that I had for two years.
   After much conversation we came to the conclusion and agreement that I would allow her to give me 4 occipital injections, in 4 different areas of my head, in the back of my head.  I felt rather strange after those injections.  I don't know how to explain how I was feeling.  I was concerned to the point that I sent a message to the Physician's Assistant, that I originally saw 2 years ago, now.  She told me to make a follow up appointment with her, if I don't start feeling better.
  One thing that I forgot to mention is that the one PA suggested that I go to Physical Therapy.  So, I had my first appt with a PT last Monday.  That PT actually gave me a certain exercise that no other PT has ever given me, to do.  When I do this exercise, I do feel a certain type of stretching that I feel in the back of my neck.  That is a good thing according to the PT.  There for awhile I was feeling strange throbbing pain up certain parts of my head, that only went away when I did those stretches.  This stupid headache has kept me from doing things that I want to do, like going to church, bible studies, and such.  It's very frustrating to not be able to do things that I want to do and in some cases, I really should do.

More...

3/16/18 -- I guess my job at the printing company is coming to an end, once again.  Supposedly Tuesday will or should be the temps last day for a while.  I don't mind but the staffing service called me and said that because this is a comp. case I have to be doing something while the staffing agency continues to pay me and pay the medical expenses.  She seems to thinks so, anyway.  She said that she will get more info, on Monday as their main office is on the East coast and they were already closing when she was talking to me.  I don't mind doing something that I can sit down and do and still have the ability to leave at the same time.
  The babysitting job that I had been doing, I can't quite do yet due to the gravel driveway and the steps to get to the door.  I don't particularly want to hurt my self by the trying to walk with the crutches on gravel, and the gma, doesn't want that either.  Anyway, she wants to know if I will watch her little gdaughter during spring break, which I don't have a problem doing.  She is willing to bring her to my apartment. Well, gma works here in the same town that I live in, so she isn't going out of her way.

Wondering Thoughts

3/15/18 -- I mentioned, in my last post, about not complaining about being in a wheel chair because I know people that have to being them, permanently.  Well, I was sitting the wheelchair, unfolding paperwork when thoughts of my little sister started wondering thru my head.  Caught me so off guard, and i don't even know what brought those thoughts but they brought me to tears, for a few minutes.  I haven't really complained about being in the wheelchair, cause I know people in them plus I know that I will be getting out of it, eventually.  I use my office chair to roll around in here, at home.  I also use my crutches, because it feels good to get up and move around.  I don't really need blood clots forming in my legs due to lack of movement.  Even at work, I use my crutches to go to the bathroom because it is so much easier than the wheelchair.  It also, feels so good to just stand up.  Since I can use my left leg for balance without putting any weight on it, makes it somewhat easier to be on the crutches. However, there are things that I don't particularly want to do because it would just be a hassle, to me, more than anything.
  I have adjusted some of my habits just because of the time factor.  Like taking a shower before work, not happening when it takes me a bit longer to accomplish that feat.  So, I wait to take a shower in the afternoon, after work.  Even simply cleaning the litter box, I have to adjust myself or have someone else do it for me.  I don't like having someone else doing it but sometimes there is a need to do that. 

Results

3/13/18 -- So, yesterday morning (bright and early) I had an MRI on my knee, to find out if there was anything else going on, inside. Given the fact that x-rays don't show torn tendons or torn cartilage   The MRI has shown a bone bruise right in the area where I felt the start pain when I initially injured it.  Now, I have to go 4-6 more weeks with no weight on my knee, using the crutches and rolling around in my office chair.  Plus, taking advantage of the wheel chair and service that I am getting at work. I gotta tell you, this crutch thing, is really making things complicated.
  I have been very careful to not complain simply because there are so many people that are in wheelchairs that seem to get along just fine.  I have no idea if they all have help at home, or not, but I know that i don't.  So, I just have to figure things out as I go.  I do have to figure out the shopping thing.  I can drive but getting the groceries into the apt from my car is the challenge.

Oh Brother cont......

3/10/18 -- I went to the Dr. for the follow up appt. and he is concerned that I can't stand on my left leg/knee because of the pain.  So, an MRI it is.  I am really hoping that there is nothing really wrong and that it will take time to heal.

    I gotta admit that I will take a painful knee as opposed to a smashed face.  I know that it was by the Grace of God that I was turned to the side to avoid the plate glass window.  I am betting that, that is how my left knee was twisted.  I heard once that anywhere your head goes your body will follow.  Well, I thoroughly believe that God directed my head away from that window, my body followed but maybe my knee wasn't in the correct position to follow so then it twisted. I am totally ok with that.

  Yesterday afternoon, my boss wheeled a new wheelchair into the room where I was working.  So, now I have a wheelchair to get around the building.  Also, I was informed that my time there will most likely end next Friday, as with the rest of the temps that are there.  That actually sucks but at the same time, it will allow my knee to heal correctly without having to be sitting all the time.  I will be able to recline and keep my leg level or elevated. 

  When I got back to work, on Wednesday, I was told that the whole plant got lectured due the the accident that I had along with the accidents that had apparently happened in previous weeks.  Too, many for the liking of the owners of the company.  Not only that, but my boss and his boss got in trouble because neither one of them were in the building at the time of my accident.  My boss had come an gone, throughout the day, and I had just seen him before I left for the day. However, he wasn't there and come to find out his boss wasn't there, either, so another plant boss was there with the women that were attending to me, til the EMTs got there.

Oh Brother.....

3/9/18 -- I started working (last tuesday) at the same printing company that I have worked, on and off for the last year.  Anyway, on Monday, of this week, I was leaving the building out the front door, which requires going down some stairs and going out a glass door with glass windows on both sides of the door.  As I got to the 3rd step from the bottom, I took a step down and rolled my right ankle, twisted my left knee, as I fell down.  I don't know if I missed a step or what, all I know is I was on the the floor between the glass and base board heater and the and a wall.  It took me quite awhile to get up.  I don't even know how long I was on the floor before some people finally came to my aid.  I managed to stand up, then when I tried to walk, by shifting my weight to my left leg.  As I shifted my weight to my left leg I got an excruciating pain shooting thru outer part of my left knee.  I immediately sat down, and then someone asked me if I needed an ambulance, when I said yes (because I couldn't walk to my car) someone quickly called 911.  A police officer showed up first, then the ambulance with the EMTs.  There were four EMTs that came, the driver plus 3 more.  It just happened that I knew one of them, from church.  Mind you, there wasn't a whole lot of space between the steps and the door.  So, getting the gurney into the building was a challenge, as they wanted to shield me from the cold wind as long as possible.  They managed to get it into the building and got me on the gurney then we headed to the ambulance.
  I got my first ride in an ambulance to the hospital.  The ride was very interesting but just fine.  It wasn't all that busy in the ER, I was given an X-ray and the end result is nothing us broken. Thankfully.  However, I needed to keep it immobile til I saw the Dr. in a follow up appt.  I was actually in the ER for only 3 hours, ish.  Not too bad.  They ended up just wrapping my knee with an ace bandage.  The knee "braces" that they had were either too small or too long, for my short self.
  I had to message a friend for a ride home, as my car was still at the place of employment's parking lot.  Before I could leave, I had to do a pee test for drugs, and a breath-a-lizer test - you know the after work accident drug and alcohol tests.  I ended up knowing the nurse who came to administer the two tests, from church too.  When I was finally able to go home, it was snowing pretty good.  It was a slow drive home.  It was also a slow hobble to my apartment.  You see, there was plenty of snow on the side walk and the wind was blowing pretty good.
  

Dog Sitting

2/14/18 -- For the second time within a month, I am dog sitting.  It requires me to spend the night at the house with the dog, then I leave for about 6hrs or so, like I am working, spend that time at my place taking care of my cats.  I leave my cats a bit of extra food in both of their dishes that does carry them over til I return the next morning.

  It's not a bad way to earn some money. In the mean time I have been still getting online and job search.  I probably haven't been online as often as I want to be, but that is only because I am so tired of hunting, applying, up loading my resume' and having nothing positive come out of it.  I have had interviews but nothing else come out of them too.  Soo, irritated, discouraged and just want to give up.

  I haven't given up but I just wish there was an easier way to get a job.  This whole thing of not having a job, is such a pain in the butt!!  

  Went to a "care plan meeting" at the nursing home where my dad is, met my mom there.  I was surprised that my sister wasn't there but evidently she had to work earlier that she thought.  It had been awhile since the last time I had seen my dad.  It still is so hard for me to see him, in that place.

Song

 I know that is song is a "Christmas Song" but I believe that the words can be worshiped and applied, as much now, as at Christmas.

First Milestone

2/11/18 -- Yesterday was my little sister's birthday, the one that past away, back in Sept. '17.  A couple of weeks ago, it occurred to me that her birthday was coming up, so I texted my middle sister and suggested that either the two of us spend the as much of the day with our mom, as we could; or split the day between us.  Anything to make sure that mom wasn't alone all day long, on that day.  Well, we had it worked out that I would spend the first part of the day with mom then she would come down and spend the rest of the day with her.  Also, we decided not to say anything to her ahead of time.
  So, I let mom know that I was planning on coming down sometime mid-morning on Saturday, and that if she wanted me to do anything or make anything, I could do it then.  I didn't tell her anything more than that.  I went down and she had me clean off the counter in the kitchen, because she has had a rather stubborn little mouse.  She had ordered something that would allow her to spray it on the counter and the mouse wouldn't return.  She needed the counter cleaned off to make spraying it much easier.  Not only did we clean off the counter but we also decluttered it.  Boy, oh boy, it looks so much better now!  You can actually see that the counter is bigger than it looked.
  After all of that we went out to lunch, to Long John Silvers/KFC.  Yes, in my hometown, the restaurants are in the same building.  During lunch, my sister texted wanting to know what we were doing.  I responded but for some reason the message didn't get sent til after we had returned to mom's house.  My sister said that she had a migraine and needed to get rid of it before coming down.
Then she asked mom, what her and I end up doing?  Mom, naturally, was a little curious as to how my sister knew that I was going to be with her?  At that point, I explained that my sister and I hatched a plan to make sure that she wasn't alone on our little sister's birthday(the first one after her death)  Then mom started crying.  Shared some of the different things that she has been experiencing like.....dreaming about her and hearing her say "mom, mom". We both had a good cry, we both miss her, but I am pretty sure that mom misses her the most because mom spent so much of her life taking care of her.
  Mom, was very appreciative that my younger sister and I wanted to be sure that she wasn't alone, yesterday.  I know she was a bit surprised that my sister and I worked something out together, after all, her and I still haven't been getting along very well.
  I told mom that even though her and I aren't getting along, right now, we still love mom and we can agree to make sure mom is taken care of.

Something New, I think

2/8/18 -- Yesterday was a bad day...I woke up with a seriously bad headache, one that just knocked me out for the count, for the whole day.  It actually took 3 doses of my pain mediations for it to finally take it back a couple of notches.  I started to finally feel better early in the evening.  The pain meds make me tired but that is just fine because I really want to do is sleep, anyway.  I turned my blinds so the brightness wasn't just streaming at my face, I just couldn't handle the brightness.  I did however have to go out to put my car on the correct side of the street, I found a pair of sunglasses and wore them as I uncovered my car, from the snow, and moved it.
  Today, according to the weather, we are expecting more snow, so I will just move my car into the back parking lot, so that I am not on the street for the cleanup.
  I reestablished my account on eharmony and have been chatting with a man that is only about an hour from me, which is a good thing.  He is in the construction trade and apparently is the lead man, cause he was successful in getting a contract to build a bridge in Kenya.  I am really hoping to meet him, in person, soon.  It seems that we have a lot in common.  More in common than with the other two guys that I have met.
  I still don't have a job, which is very irritating.  I do have a dog sitting job that starts this weekend and lasts for two weeks. I am more than likely going to be spending the night at the house, with the dog, then spending part of the day, at my place.  Since I do have to make sure my cats are taken care of and the house isn't that far from where I live, so I can leave as if I am going to work, and then go back in the evening or around supper time.  Then just be there for the night.  
  I am supposed to meet with the dog's owners this evening for the lowdown on the dog's routine, and get a key or something for getting in and out of the house.  I am not so sure that the timing of the meeting is a good idea cause this big snow storm is supposed to start in about a half an after the meeting starts, so I am not sure we are going to do the meeting.
  The man across the hall from me is still interested in me, I am not quite sure what to do about that.  We really haven't done much in quite awhile.  Then there is the guy that I had been interested in, that lives about 2 1/2 hours away from me but his interest in me  seems to be more on the sexual side, purely physical than anything else.  I just don't feel that same connection to him that he seems to think and behave like he has to me. There are things that he has said that just makes me feel that his attraction to me is purely physical and I am no all that comfortable with that.  The guy across the hall, started out purely physical, but I put a stop to everything because I just wasn't comfortable with the way he made me feel and how fast things were progressing.  We hadn't done anything but he was pestering me with the things he would say and where he would put his hands, on me.  I just couldn't deal with that either.
  The current man that I am chatting with on google hangouts, seems different but I have yet to meet him, in person.  So, we'll see.
I so want to get married but I just don't want to give myself away to just anyone.  It has to be someone that God matches with me with.  I am using an internet site to expose myself to other single men, as difficult as that is.  I just don't get out all that much to meet single men, all that much, especially the type of man that I want to meet.

Last Day

1/28/18 -- Well, today was the last day of the dog sitting.  I went to church, then gathered the rest of my stuff, loaded it up -- at lunch first.  Then got things loaded into my trunk.  
  Taking care of those dogs was so much fun and I wouldn't mind doing it again.  The next dog sitting job, I am most likely going to be doing it differently, unless of course I get a job then all bets are off.  I will have to figure out something.  More than likely having someone come in and feed my cats while I do the dog sitting.  We'll just have to see.  I pretty much left the house as I found it; with exception to putting clean sheets on their bed simply because their bed is just too tall.  As it was, I used a step stool to get into their bed.  I left a note for them on their dinning room table, so they will see that.
  I put in a couple of applications, online of course, one at a bank and another as a receptionist at a car dealership.  I am only doing this because I have to and I need to work, but I have to admit that I am sick and tired of filling out apps, uploading my resume, and whatever else just to get a job. I have had several interviews but nothing comes after that.  I am so tempted to just be satisfied with the meager babysitting job and the on/off of the temp job at R. R. Donnelly.  
I am more than just frustrated at the job hunting deal.  Really just wishing I didn't have to work, that I had someone else in the household that is the primary bread winner so that my jobs are just supplementary. 

Differences cont.....

1/27/18 --  I had mentioned in my previous post the differences between cats and dogs.
  I mostly talked about the dogs that i have been dog sitting, well today I will discuss my cats.  My cats are two totally different animals, as far as personalities.  Bear, my big boy, is older, like he is going to be 18 yrs old this year.  He is pretty laid back, isn't much for cuddling, but he tolerates it because I like to cuddle with him.  He is a great live stuffed animal. lol.  The only time he wants affection is when he is hungry.
  Penni, my little girl, is going to be six yrs this year.  She is little and lovable, sort of cuddle able.  I say, sort of, because is normally on her terms.  She will climb on me and lay in my arms, let me pet her and she'll purr for me.  She doesn't care for the times when I pick her up to give her attention when I want to.  At the same time, 
they are so much fun to watch.  Miss Penni runs around my apt like a kamikaze kitty.  She tears around running up and down the "cat tree" and such.  
  My cats are so much fun to watch, to snuggle with, to feed and just all around take care of.
  The dogs that I have bee taking care of are fun to watch too.  Both animals have their benefits.  It's been nice to be around a different set of animals.

The difference

1/26/18 -- I am almost at the end of the this dog sitting job.  The owners will be home in a couple of days.
  As I have been spending time with these dogs I have noticed a difference between them and my cats.  Now, besides the obvious differences between cats and dogs.  These two dogs make themselves known in much different ways.  The little girl likes to lay next to me, she likes to snuggle and such.  However, when she is on my lap, she will stand on her hind legs with her front legs just resting on my stomach.  Plus, when she has this strange habit, that her owner didn't tell me about or it could be that she just decided to do this.  I let the big boy out one door, and she decides that she wants to go out the other door and it's because the big dog will quickly stand off to the side, to try to attack her as she is coming out the same door.  She knows this so she wants to go out a different door.
  I have been spending time with my cats too.  About every other day I will go to my apt and spend several hours with my cats, then head back out to the house to let the dogs out and feed them.  I sort of feel like I am staying at a hotel, they even have white towels in the master bath.  I have been eating my own food, for the most part.  They really don't have anything thawed that I would eat plus I had already made some food for me so I just brought it with me.  It's been pretty fun to stay in a house and being able to park my car in their garage.
  It's funny to see this little dog pick a fight with the bigger dog, who is about 5x her height.
  I was asked to dog sit another dog but this is just one dog, an older one, and this will be for 2 weeks.  I am thinking I may have to adjust how I do this.  Two weeks is a bit too long to keep up with the seeing my cats every other day.  I don't know I will see.  The nice thing is, this other house, I have cleaned and it is another friend, so the dog already knows me.

Right now

1/23/18 -- Right now I am house/dog sitting for someone that I know from a church that I had attended.  She is someone who is a potter and a knitter.  She is also someone who is the direct secretary to the pastor of the church that I attended, at one time.  I had stopped by their to take a look at the her supply of coffee cups, that she had made, with the hopes of finding a cup or two in the shade of blue that I really like.  It was at that time she asked if I could house sit while they were on a cruise.  I said that I would because I really don't have any reason why I couldn't.  Yes, I have 2 cats but cats are pretty easy to leave alone for a couple of days, at a time.  I just have to make sure that their food bowls are full, the water bowls are full, and that the littler box is clean.  I am spending the nights at their house so that I can be her to let the dogs out early in the morning.
  Staying at this house is really cool, it's like staying at a hotel.  This house is located in a small "suburb" out in the country, about 1/4 to a 1/2 mile away from the town I live in.  The house is pretty big and really nice.  I feel like I am staying in a hotel, because they actually have white towels, in their master bathroom.  The master bath is bigger than anything that i have ever lived with.  There is actually a bathtub that can be used to relax in and there is also a shower that is like a rain shower head.  I feel like I am on a mini vacation.  Yes, I do go home to check on my cats and make sure they have food and water and to pick up more of the food that I already have prepared forgetting that I would be staying here.  However, I am ok with because the food that are in their fridge I won't eat, anyway.  
  I was told to help myself, but I just don't want to thaw what they have when I already have food that I planned on eating anyway.  For the most part, I am drinking her coffee, and using their pans and such but not eating too much of their food.  I was given a gift card to a gas station that I don't typically do to for gas, so I used that to buy some snacks and a meal for Saturday night dinner. I have just enough left on that gift card to purchase another meal.  You see, that gas station sells fresh fried chicken with some side dishes.  This gas station sell a brand of ice cream that I really like.  It is just a tad more expensive than I normally like to spend on ice cream for the amount that you actually get.  With that gift card I bought a chicken meal, big bag of popcorn and that ice cream. 
  I have been eating off my popcorn and ice cream and the food that I brought but you know what I am ok with that.  I still feel like I am on an adventure or a vacation.  I am pretty much away from the apartment drama which does get annoying.

What......

1/19/18 -- Today is the day when the truck exchange takes place.  The owner of the truck that I had been driving while my car was in the shop, is coming in to pick up their truck.  I am guess that the family is coming because then his wife will be able to drive the van home while he drives the truck.  I guess it's technically not an exchange but the owner coming to pick up the truck.  There just wasn't any way to meet in in a small town midway between where they live and where I live.
  I do love having my car back, however, I am considering getting a truck the next time I need a vehicle.  I won't be getting one quite  as big as the one I had been driving.  I don't know why I want a truck, but I really do like having the height advantage.  I like being able to see more than I can in the car.
  I do have some more work that should done be done on the car; the rear shock - the drivers side is leaking, an ac seal/bearing on the drivers side, and I am also going to have him install the shock that belongs on the hood to hold it up.  There is one there but it hasn't worked since I got the car.  The weird thing is - I never saw that stupid shock hinge every single time I opened the hood to put windshield wiper fluid in the car.
  I sent an email to the man I got the car from asking if he could "forgive" the last $200 that I owe on the car because I have had to put that amount + on the brake system.  I figured out that I paid $300+ on the brake system.  The cost includes: front brake pads/rotors, master cylinder, all new brake lines, and a pair of wheel cylinders for the rear brakes.  Purchasing the brake lines was the most expensive out of all the rest of the parts because the men had to "macgyver" the lines together by using "unions" to put the lines together.  I haven't heard back from the man, but I am not sure if I will or not. I am figuring he shouldn't have an issue because its the last $200 the I owe and this time it went into the car.
  This weekend I start house/dog sitting.  The family is leaving early Saturday which means that I need to be at their place by mid afternoon or so to let the dogs out.  I am going to make this my mini vacation because they pretty much live in the country.  I am able to leave my cats for like 3 days by making sure their food and water dishes are plenty full, that way I don't have to go back and forth everyday.  
  I get to park my car in their garage, sleep in their bed - which is a big and tall bed.  They have a master bath with a cool shower head.  I do have their wifi password so I will be able to still get on my laptop and tablet.  They also have satellite which means that I will be able to watch the tv that I like watching along with some that I don't have on my cable package.  I also get to make myself at home and even eat their food.
  This little time in a different place will get me away from the people in my building and I won't have to flip my car from one side to the other.  The family is supposed to be home late next Sunday night.  There is one couple in my building that has so much drama that it's ridiculous.  I haven't known a couple that argues over who does what in the apt.  I finally told them to just wash their own clothes and put them away.  To me it is pathetic that she expecting him to do all the housework even after he has worked all day, and she hasn't done anything but sit around and do nothing but be on snap chat and play video games.  They were getting to the point of sounding like brother and sister, pretty pathetic.

OOOKKKK

1/18/18 -- So, this morning I went out for coffee with the grandma of the little girl that I had been taking care of.  She paid me and we talked.  She told me that she is planning on getting another job.  She just couldn't handle the work environment where she had been.  Who could blame her with all that stuff her supervisor did and said to her.  She also told me that she is planning on suing the place she was working for sexual harassment.
  Her little granddaughter is upset now because she won't see me, "anymore" plus she lost a little "secret pen" and she thought it was in my car but it's not.  So, hopefully she won't be jobless for too long.  The bonus is she won't be driving for an hour + both ways, anymore.  Also, she won't be having to get up super early in the morning, either.  That is super nice for me too, getting up that early is rough.
  I have to admit that I really want a job but I just don't know what to do or where to go anymore.  I don't even know if I want to work just because it is so stinkin' difficult to find a job.  I am looking but yet I am not looking.  Like, I am keeping my eyes peeled for anything but at the same time I am not looking real hard.

More Changes

1/17/18 -- Here we go again, changes gotta love them!!!!!!  The babysitting job that I have had, for the last several months, is coming to an end.  The grandma has turned in her retirement papers, to the human resources dept. at her job.  Evidently there has been a lot of sexual harassment going on from her supervisor.  In the day and time, the human resources wanted to just "sweep it under the rug" which is totally unacceptable!  She had taken a week off due to a sinus surgery, she had last week.  Her first day back and she gets treated like crap.  She had, had enough yesterday so that is when she finally decided to hand in her retirement papers.  Now, there are possibilities that she could get another job, maybe part-time or something but for the time being, she is finishing up the week.
  So, here I go again.  I will not be working, as for now, the one temp. job is done for now.  I have no idea when that temp. job will resume, plus I really can't wait for  it to return. 
  I gotta admit that I haven't really been looking for a job, online.  I have to admit that I have given up job hunting.  I have gotten so tired of looking and submitting resumes', and going to interviews and not having something better coming out of them then "regret" letters.
  So irritating!!!