Death

8/31/17 -- Death, I have to admit that I never thought that I would have to be dealing with death in my immediate family; yet here I am having deal with death in my immediate family.  My immediate family being my little sister.  I have to be honest here - I want to just go crawl into a hole, I just don't want to deal with this, at all.  I know that crawling into a hole isn't an option, tho.  My mom needs me, needs both of her other daughters, to get thru this.
  I tell you, I don't know what's more difficult - watching my mom watch my sister die or me watching her die.  This is just flat out difficult!  I don't like death but I do know that my little sister is going to be in heaven.
  I have started my Microsoft Office class, I gotta say, having a Mac and working on a WORD program is a bit of a challenge but not impossible, it does mean a few extra steps but oh well, all the more of a learning curve.

Seasons

8/18/17 -- I have to admit that this season in my life is difficult, not impossible, but difficult.  Being without a job is a pain in my butt!  I am really wanting a job, but I ......
  

I love my Bear, he is such a fuzz ball, soft and cuddly.  He spoiled rotten but I don't care.

Adaptation

 

8/16/17 -- This plant is a Coleus, and boy is it ever beautiful!  The leaves are a light, bright shade of green, with a shade of red in the middle of the leaves.  Out of all the plants that I have had growing, that Coleus just thrives every year.  I think that next spring I will grow two pots of it be cause they are beautiful.

I think I have done pretty good, not being able to use my left arm.  I ended up making a trip to the Dr.'s office, yesterday because the area right at the top of the incision was extremely irritating!  It was burning to the point that I was wondering if something was wrong.  When I get there, the nurse unwrapped my whole arm and the incisions both look good.  I did get a chance to look at them, and the do look good, not infected or anything.  The nurse then rewrapped my arm but this time she went about an inch or two above the elbow incision which made a huge difference.  I know that the rest of the irritating things that I am dealing with has to do with the healing process {of the incisions} and the location.  The location of the incision by the elbow is on the inside of my arm which is one of the most tenderest areas of the arm.

I am still hoping and praying for a job, after i have recovered from this.  I haven't heard from two of the places that i interviewed at.

Still adjusting

8/12/17 -- Yes, I am still having so much fun, adjusting to using only my right hand.  Plus, having to sit and rest my left arm on a pillow to keep it elevated.  
  A friend stopped by to wash my hair and scoop my kitty litter.  It felt so good to have my hair washed.  My next challenge is to figure out to clean the rest of me up. I can't exactly take a shower, so not sure what to do, yet.
  

There is a light blue piece of material around the strap by my neck because it was rubbing and causing a sore.
  I have pretty much stayed in my pjs just to keep things easy but I am hoping to go to church tomorrow so I need to figure out what to wear that will easy to put on and easy to work with all day long, til I get back home.
  Well, need to sit back and put my arm on a pillow to elevate it.

In A Sling

8/11/17 -- Here I go, typing this one handed.  My left arm is wrapped up just above my elbow all the way to my hand, then in a sling.  This makes my life pretty interesting given that I am left handed.  My right hand does get tired so of course I have to rest it every now and then.  I gotta say, there are a few things that are difficult to do with one hand but not impossible.  Thankfully I prepared some meals ahead  of time so all I have to do is warm them up.  Also, knowing the keyboard helps out a lot.
  Unfortunately, I can't drive because I can't even pull the car door shut let alone open it.  So, going anywhere alone, is not possible unless I walk.  I didn't sleep very well, Wednesday night but last night was a little better.  Wednesday night, I stayed with some friends and the bed was firmer than I am used to, but mostly cause my arm was just achy.  Also, I just had a very hard time getting comfortable.  I do have pain pills which i am taking but the one incision is on the inside of my elbow which then leans against my body.....
   

Children

The handsome young twin boys are members of my second favorite family.  I thoroughly enjoy spending time with them, I completely love little ones but these babies are almost top of the list.  Their family are my substitute grandchildren, since mine grandchildren are far away in more ways than one.

Twin girls holding their twin baby brothers such an adorable sight. Yes, I have know these little ladies since they were born.  They get excited every time they see me and they want to come home with me, for a little while of course.

The older bothers sitting with their baby twin brothers, what an adorable picture.  The two older boys also get quite excited with they see me, you see, I have known them since they were born, as well.

These two young ladies are the oldest of the eight.  The one on the left is second oldest, which then leaves the one on the right to be the oldest.  They are quite the pair and do a wonderful job helping their parents out with their younger siblings.  They love seeing me too, often when I am going to be at their house, I am the surprise.  Their parents don't tell them I am coming so then they are totally surprised and excited.

To me this family is quite special and I completely enjoy spending time with them.  They do make a good substitute for my family, however, spending time with them doesn't erase just how much I miss my own grandchildren, not to mention, my son and his wife.

Yet, these children do give me a lot of joy to be around.

Not Sure

8/5/17 -- I had mentioned that my little sister is in a skilled care facility about a half an hour from my mom.
  I am conflicted as to the quickness of the release of my sister.  She had been in the hospital for almost 2 weeks and when mom got the call that they had found a place and that she was being sent there, that day, (being yesterday).  I was more than shocked because I feel like it's just too soon to release her to anywhere.  She has been dealing with a stomach ache of sorts and they hadn't been able to figure out why.  They thought is was because of a injection that she had been receiving in the stomach but they switched that to the arm, so the injection isn't the issue.  So, what is?  The Drs released her without really knowing what the cause of her stomach ache is.  That really bothers me, yet mom says they did all they could, so they had no choice but to release her.  Also, I am not totally convinced that she is well enough to be released, but I guess since I am not a dr. so who am I to decide whether she is well enough or not? Hmmmmm
   There has been some very difficult times in the last couple of weeks.  I have been dealing with some sadness, to the point of not really caring whether my apartment is clean or not.  I sent my accountability partner an email and my Counselor a myChart email to let them both that I have been struggling.  I much rather utilize my resources of prayer and encouragement then to let myself get way too down.  Thankfully, my prayer partner responded with an encouragement email; letting me know that she would be praying for me, as well.
 My Counselor's office responded letting me know that she wasn't in the office but they would forward to the on call psychologist. The on-call psychologist responded with much encouragement, too.  For some reason, that was the "shot in the arm" that I needed.  I don't get it but when someone reminds you that you are stronger than you think and to utilize the tools that I have, I will be fine; is so encouraging.
  I know that God knows exactly what I am going thru/dealing with, so He knows what I need.  I just need to stay in the zone of God and not allow my mind to sink to that low point, ever!
  I gotta say being broke and living on my own is something that I enjoy.  I really much rather be working, at the same time, I wish I had a stash of money somewhere that I wouldn't have to work, therefore not in close to desperate need of money to take care of bills.  Alas, money stashed somewhere is a "pipe dream" of mine, there really isn't any and I have to work.

Oh Boy

8/5/17 -- Well, my youngest sister is, most likely, at her new place for recovery.  The learning hospital that she has spent the last 2 weeks, found a skilled care facility that accepted her, with no issues.  The place is an half an hour, give or take 5 minutes from our mom, and an hour, give or take.  I am glad that there are no more trips to Madison, just sitting in a hospital, next to my sister's bed, not doing anything was getting on my nerves, just a little.  Nothing against my sister but it is a fact.
  Today, I had an interview at a car dealership about 40 minutes from where I live.  It was for a part time receptionist position, that I had applied for.  It sounds a lot like something I can do and there is room for me to grow and maybe even advance.  It is a career change but I am completely ok with that.  I want a career change and I am working on taking classes towards that end.
  I have spent the afternoon, preparing meals for me to eat next week.  I have one more left, and that is chicken noodle soup.  I know that is a winter or fall meal, but for me it is comfort food.  Plus, it is something that will be easy for me to warm up, to eat with one hand.  Not to mention, I make my chicken noodle soup completely from scratch, including the noodles, which means it will be super yummy and healthy.
   I am really hoping that the people that have said they will help me take a computer class, are willing to help me with the first one. I went to the college that I live right across from and filled out an application; after which the secretary said that I need to fill out a different application plus pay right then and there.  I told her then that I had someone else that was going to help me out by paying for it.  Then I had her right down the cost of the class and the book, so that I could drop off the note to the people.
  I really want to take the classes on Microsoft word, and excel so that I can be better prepared for the jobs that I really want.