Whatever

11/30/18 -- Gotta love how life works, uh no!!  I haven't worked in one family, all but one day this week, which sucks because that is extra, gas money that I can use.  The grandpa apparently hasn't adapted to the cold very well, this winter (and winter hasn't even kicked completely all in)  I was there on Wednesday but that has been it.  I did get paid by the other family, which is nice.
  I really could use at least one part-time job that isn't quite so dependent on whether people need me or not.  I would like the job so that taxes get paid via a job, another job.  I gotta figure out my total earnings this years, via the spreadsheets that I have been learning how to use.  Thankfully, I do still have my book from the class that I took, last fall, that I should be able to figure out how to get to the year end figures that I need.
  The last time that I was with mom, she told me about some money that hospice sent back to mom, that went to the nursing facility in Stockton, where me sister was til she died.  I got the mail from the mailbox and discovered and envelope that I new was from mom, and low and behold, a check that was just less than half what she was sent.  Now, I can get my oil changed and hopefully the trunk opened too.

DEATH

11/20/18 -- Another death in my family!!!! UUggg I am so tired of death, this year!!!  However, the family knew this would eventually happen because my uncle gave up!!!  Rather selfishly, he gave up quite awhile ago.  He had been living with diabetes and as his eyesight began to really fail, he slowly started giving up.  He was depressed but didn't really talk about it.  He was on meds for the depression but when not seeking counseling to go with that depression the meds won't solve the problem all by themselves.
  He ended up in the hospital and the nursing home all just this year.  He got so bad that he just didn't want dialysis or any other medical interference.  He had stopped eating and his kidneys hadn't been functioning all that well, eventually just gave up.  This man lost his will to live some time ago, which is something that I don't understand, but then again neither did his wife.  This is one funeral that don't think we all will be going to because mom just isn't up to traveling and with my sister's job, I am pretty sure that she won't be able to get any time off.  I don't have the money to drive and I won't drive by myself.  Ohio is just too far for me to drive all by myself.  GGGGGRRRR!!!!

Struggling (maybe)

11/19/18 -- I gotta admit that the fact that my son not contacting me is kinda starting me mess with my emotions, a bit.  Ok, maybe more than a bit.  I want so much to be able to spend some time with them this holiday season, but I can't hold my breath cause he has been absolutely lousy at getting back to me after my messages.     

      I do have a couple of places to go, on thanksgiving day but I haven't decided yet cause it kinda depends on my mom and what she wants to do. (if anything)  I spoke to my pastor's wife, of whom I have been friends with, for 8 years, but I haven't spent as much time with them, since they moved.  She invited me to their place on Thursday, which I am seriously thinking about taking advantage of, and even make a secret plan to spend the night and come home on Friday.
      My other idea is another family with a bunch of children, has also extended an invitation for me to come to their place.  I am not holding my breath on spending any time with my son and family cause he hasn't gotten back to me on any plans that he/they have.
  I really hate that things still haven't progressed as much as I was hoping, but I really can't push, despite how annoyed and irritated I am.  

 

 

           
 

Life

11/17/18 -- So, I can't believe we already almost to the end of the year.  Too many things have happened this year that aren't necessarily the greatest.  2 deaths, including a trip to family for a funeral. I really still don't have a consistent, non-dependent on people job.  Meaning, not dependent on whether the people go on vacation or not, job.  I could use something to fill in some time a couple of days a week.  Something that pays taxes.
  I still haven't seen my grandchildren, since the meeting at Chik-fil-a.  I haven't seen the oldest granddaughter, cause she was on her way home from a mission's trip, that day.  My son has been absolutely lousy as keeping me up to date on what is going on concerning his work, and his wife's work and just let me know.  I just feel like he's not doing his best, I could be wrong but that is where is communication to me would come in handy.  It's so irritating because I just don't know what he's thinking, he doesn't let me know.  I don't that he's seen the messages because my phone lets me know when he's read something. 
  Today, I will be assembling a large pan of lasagna to take to church with me, then lunch at my friends' house.  Their husband is in Africa, and he's a chef - the main meal make in their household.  So, I told her that I would make and bring them a batch of lasagna.  I bought the stuff for my lasagna, yesterday evening, however I managed to forget to pick up the noodles for this meal.  I did get the red part of the sauce pre-made along with the white/cheese sauce, last night.  I just need to go a pick up a box of noodles, par boil them, and assemble the lasagna.  I also, have some cheese to shred that will go on the meal.  I will take the lasagna with me to church, after which I will follow my friends to their house, and will bake the meal at their place.

Stuff

11/15/18 -- I still haven't gotten a job that can fill in the couple of days that I have open in the morning til about 2pm. Oh well, not for lack of trying but then getting discouraged, so then quitting looking.
  The so so news it that I am paying some rent, which makes me feel better because I am not getting to live here completely free.  The amount of rent is based on the one job that I have that is paying me decently enough to include as income on my recertification for rent.  The second job is just gas money, I only work a couple of hours a day for 4 days a week, so they pay me gas money.  They can't afford to pay me much and I am not out to break anyones budget.
  I really do like my "new to me" car.  There is so much of a spacial difference in the Nissan compared to the Buick.  Aside from that it is fine.  I really like that I can lock and unlock the car by using the fob that came with the keys.  I do have to do an oil change on this vehicle, but I can't quite afford to do it right now.
  I am still struggling with emotions because my son still hasn't been able to make it so that I can come for a visit.  To make things worse, he isn't communicating with me to keep me posted on what is going on, as far as, how busy his is or Leesa is, and stuff like that.
I am doing my best to not dwell on it and get to frustrated.  I am really hoping that they can figure something out that we can spend some time together during this holiday season.  I really just want to spend time with my family, most importantly my grandchildren.

Car

11/3/18 -- I picked up my car, at church, last Sunday.  I had to arrange to be picked up to get to church, so I could drive the car home.  I went to he pastor's office to pick up the keys and the paper work that included the title that was signed over to me.  There is a big spacial difference in foreign made cars versus American made cars.  In American made vehicles there is plenty of space to sit behind the wheel.  This Nissan space behind the wheel is quite a bit smaller in comparison to the Buick.  However, I don't mind too much, so long as I work on losing weight and not gain any more.  It drives nice, gas mileage isn't what it should be because it is, more than likely, due for an oil change.  I do like the size, though because it makes it easier to park, especially parallel park.  The buick was bigger and more difficult to parallel park when I wasn't positive I had enough space.  this Nissan sort of reminds me of the cavalier that I once had.  It seems that I keep getting stuck with tan or beige cars.  
Oh well, color isn't all that important.