Another Suicide???????

4/29/30 -- Found out earlier, this evening, that someone I know's son {one of a pair of twins} took his own life, early Sunday morning. 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭  When I saw the posting for his visitation and funeral, this coming Friday, it felt like I got punched in the chest......I have been where this young must have found himself, but for some reason he didn't or couldn't ask for help.  I don't understand, I just don't understand.
  I can't even imagine what his twin brother is feeling right now.  I can't even imagine.  I am relatively close to the woman who raised him, his Grandma and Grandpa, raised them.  I don't remember why they were taken away from their mom, but nonetheless Grandma and Grandpa were also mom and dad. So, anyway, I know that the mom/Grandma and this child/young man didn't quite get along.  Apparently, it was to the point that he attempted suicide and was admitted to a mental hospital for a time, then someone else in the church, took him in {with the permission of his mom/Grandma} and he seemed to be doing ok, so far as I knew.  
   I do know that he was no longer welcome at his grandma's house, without someone like grandpa or grandma because of something that he did.  I wonder if maybe there was some extreme things said during that exchange that put him back in that bad and dark place.  I really, really hope not, but it's not beyond the realm of possibility.
  Taking your own life, just isn't the answer, it just isn't.  I do know exactly where he was tho.  GET HIELP, IF YOU FIND YOURSELF THINKING OR FEELING LIKE THE WORLD WOULD BE BETTER OFF WITHOUT YOU.  IT ISN'T TRUE, THE WORLD ISN'T BETTER OFF WITHOUT YOU!  THERE ARE PEOPLE THAT DO LOVE YOU AND CARE ABOUT YOU AND IF YOU WOULD JUST OPEN UP AND ASK FOR HELP, SOMEONE WILL GET YOU THE HELP YOU NEED.  YOU HAVE TO BE WILLING TO GO TO THE PSYCHIATRIST FOR MEDS AND COUNSELING TO HELP YOU COPE WITH ALL THE TURMOIL THAT YOU ARE FEELING.  I KNOW - IT TOOK ME 3 YEARS TO WORK MY WAY, FAR ENOUGH AWAY FROM THAT VERY, VERY DARK PLACE, I WAS IN THAT I WANTED TO DRIVE INTO A SEMI-TRUCK OR A BRIDGE PILING.  I WAS PUT ON AN ANTI-DEPRESSANT AND MATCHED WITH THE RIGHT COUNSELOR THAT HELPED ME THROUGH A VERY ROUGH 2 YEARS, THEN A DIFFERENT ONE, WHO HELPED ME THE REST OF THE WAY.  THE THIRD ONE WAS THERE FOR WHENEVER I NEEDED TO TALK AND HELP KEEP ME ON THE PATH I HAVE BEEN ON.

Maybe too soon

4/13/19 -- So, I started this job at a printing company, in the town I live in, and it already looks like I won't be there too much longer.  The job that I have been doing looks like its winding down, cause the mail is dwindling down thanks to my working on the sorting.  Yes, there are a couple of people that have helped me but I am, pretty much the only one that has been doing the sorting of this mail.  I do know that it may be that the supervisor maybe letting a number of the girls go sooner than myself because he know those who actually shows up everyday and works the entire time they are there; and he knows the ones that only shows up whenever they want and works at a slow pace along with making mistakes.  Yet, my time there, this time around, doesn't look like it's going to be too much longer.  GRRRRR
  Anyway, one of the changes that I made or updated was on the foodshare account for my state, but they need verification and I still haven't gotten it to them as quickly as I needed to because they cancelled my stuff!  Thankfully, my landlord isn't interested in updating or rectifying me as I don't know how much longer this job will last.  I am selfishly praying that the job lasts a bit longer, even if I only have to come in for a number of hours in the morning.  I really need to be working for all if not part of the day, before gong to my babysitting job.  I kinda like doing this job, for a variety of reasons.