6/26/16 -- The last couple of the weeks have been interesting. I have had an some difficult nights of sleep. It seems like I have fitful nights of sleep, and I can't quite figure out why. I haven't changed anything. Well, I guess maybe I have by trying to go to bed a little earlier because of waking up and still be tired. Thankfully, I do have a session with my counselor, in the morning, I will try to remember to discuss it with him.
This weekend was a strange one, as well. I was planning on going to a wedding but ended up not going; for a combination of reasons. When I woke up I had one of my headaches, but I did take the only pain medication that I have that works. My neurologist, in a different hospital/clinic did let me know that she is going to make sure that I get a prescription for this medication. I still have some left when the local neurologist had given me an injection plus a prescription. Anyway, I did the cleaning that I had and stopped to get some lunch and breakfast food for the weekend then came home. I ended up napping and cooking instead of the wedding. I had a combination of things going that I just didn't want to go to the wedding. One was that I wasn't feeling all that great, tired and such, also I just didn't want to go. Then today, I didn't go to church because I just didn't want to, I was still tired and I just didn't want to go, partly because I knew that there was going to be a lot of people: Plus, there was another place that I was planning on going but "chickened out." I ended up finishing up the cooking that i have to do for the next week, and I swept and mopped the kitchen floor. I finally vacuumed my living room floor and put some clothes and towels in the washing machine. I actually worked up a sweat so I will end up taking a shower.
I am not sure what is going on with me but there are now certain times that I just don't want to be around a lot of people and it seems that nothing changes that; despite what reasoning I have to go and take part in the fun or whatever. Now, I know that I have something that I have to go to, at church, a wedding but I will be supervising the kitchen rather than attending the wedding or the reception.
I just am not quite sure what is going on with me right now, I just don't get it.
Sunday, June 26, 2016
Tuesday, June 14, 2016
Day by Day....
6/14/16 -- These last two days at work have been strange - chiefly because "J" was home but him and "C" had errands to run so I was there so they could do that. "J" took two days off work so they could take care of errands, I guess. Doesn't make sense to me but I am working and still getting paid, so complaining I am not. 😇
So far "C" has been doing pretty good - yet she does still have issues with staying focused and staying on one task at a time and as far as I know she isn't ADHD or anything like that. I believe it has something to do with her mental condition. Otherwise, things have been going fine. Their boys do pretty good at listening to me, what I don't understand is why they don't carry the same type of "boundary establishment" to heart when I am not there. That is all those boys really need, is to know what they can and cannot do and the consequences if they cross that line.
The other night I had this very rough night sleeping and it was because of this recurrent dream that I keep having. I don't get it -I have had this dream on several occasions and I can't quite figure out why and what it has to do with anything. However, I have figured out that this dream may have something to do with the question that my Counselor left me with in the end of our session, last week. The dream is me and others in a school and sometimes I find my way out of this building, with ease: other times I have a very, very difficult time finding my way out, of this building. This building is a maze and the getting out isn't that difficult but every time I have this dream it is the same exact thing. One thing that I have noticed; is that when I find my way out easily, I am alone, and when I can't find my way out easily there are always other people around me having the same issues. During the difficult times, there is always someone that comes out and guides out out of the building but it is always at the last possible second, before the building is closed down for the night.
I have been contemplating a question that my counselor left me with til this week, one that he wanted me to think about and we would discuss this week. The thing is, I have't discovered the answer to the question. I did have something dawn on me earlier this afternoon as I was working thru a bible study. The fact that my son and I have had the exact same thing happen - meaning that when I met his dad it was a "not so smart" time in my life and I allowed a man to pull me off the course that God had for me - not realizing it of course, til many years down the line. The same thing has happened to my son - he was on a certain course, with God, til he meets this woman who manages to pull him off course, as well. I thought that was a rather interesting "light" that dawned on me and shocked me as well.
So far "C" has been doing pretty good - yet she does still have issues with staying focused and staying on one task at a time and as far as I know she isn't ADHD or anything like that. I believe it has something to do with her mental condition. Otherwise, things have been going fine. Their boys do pretty good at listening to me, what I don't understand is why they don't carry the same type of "boundary establishment" to heart when I am not there. That is all those boys really need, is to know what they can and cannot do and the consequences if they cross that line.
The other night I had this very rough night sleeping and it was because of this recurrent dream that I keep having. I don't get it -I have had this dream on several occasions and I can't quite figure out why and what it has to do with anything. However, I have figured out that this dream may have something to do with the question that my Counselor left me with in the end of our session, last week. The dream is me and others in a school and sometimes I find my way out of this building, with ease: other times I have a very, very difficult time finding my way out, of this building. This building is a maze and the getting out isn't that difficult but every time I have this dream it is the same exact thing. One thing that I have noticed; is that when I find my way out easily, I am alone, and when I can't find my way out easily there are always other people around me having the same issues. During the difficult times, there is always someone that comes out and guides out out of the building but it is always at the last possible second, before the building is closed down for the night.
I have been contemplating a question that my counselor left me with til this week, one that he wanted me to think about and we would discuss this week. The thing is, I have't discovered the answer to the question. I did have something dawn on me earlier this afternoon as I was working thru a bible study. The fact that my son and I have had the exact same thing happen - meaning that when I met his dad it was a "not so smart" time in my life and I allowed a man to pull me off the course that God had for me - not realizing it of course, til many years down the line. The same thing has happened to my son - he was on a certain course, with God, til he meets this woman who manages to pull him off course, as well. I thought that was a rather interesting "light" that dawned on me and shocked me as well.
Sunday, June 12, 2016
Made
6/12/16 -- Some time ago I heard this song on the radio and I just had to download it to my playlist. The words are wonderful and helped me to finally get the many things that my Counselors has been telling me along with a few other people. I am perfectly made in the Savior's eyes I truly hope that this song speaks to someone out there.
I know there are teenagers that have image problems because of what they see in magazines and on TV. I really hope that this song show you who you really are.
Friday, June 10, 2016
A Side Line.....
6/10/16 -- There is something that I haven't really talked about, as of yet. Almost 2 years ago I met someone, online, a young woman, who was on a "depression" page on Facebook. I initially was on that page, as well, but after her and I became friends and started communication via Facebook messenger, I got off that page. The main reason I took myself off that page was because I just couldn't handle the people on the page, it was like they enjoyed being depressed and they really didn't want to do anything to help themselves get out of it. They complained about the counseling, the medications and such, too much for me to handle, especially since I was doing my best to get out of the depression by cooperating with my counselor and not wanting a different anti-depressant. It was almost like is site where "misery loves company" type thing.
Anyway, this young woman - at least I think she is young. For some reason her and I just hit it off and have been communicating, on and off over the last 2 years. Her and I have become quite close, it is rather strange to be so close to someone who is miles away from me. I did figure out that she is in the Columbus, OH area. You see, she was recently diagnosed with lung cancer and now there is a mass on her brain that initially the couldn't remove: however, this mass has been causing seizures and cardiac arrest on a number of occasions, plus this morning I thought I lost her. She hadn't woke up from sleep, she went into cardiac arrest, then a seizure. For some reason, she has chosen me to speak for her in any event that she can't speak for herself, and she has it documented for the hospital staff. This is the strangest, yet best friendship that I have had in such a long time. I have been communicating with her main nurse in between times when she is out of it or sedated. The nurse gave me her personal address so that I could send my friend something because her nurse said that the patients don't always receive their mail. I just sent a stuffed kitty that I was given when I left a job, quite sometime ago. She then had that same nurse help her to send me somethings. When I received the stuff she wanted me to have is when that made our friendship so very real.
There have been s couple of times that I have been overwhelmed by the idea of being friends to some one that I can't go and see. I have no idea what hospital she is in, there are at least 11 hospitals in the Columbus, OH area, there probably is more than that, but 11 that I found on the internet. You see, when the nurse gave me her personal address I googled it to see where it was, and to much to my surprise, her address is close to a town that my Uncle and Aunt live in. That makes it pretty much a guarantee that my friend is in one of the Columbus OH hospitals.
My friend's nurse has been keeping me in the loop on everything and leaving decisions up to me, for the most part. The problem that I have been having with this situation is that I can't be there with her. Also, she doesn't want me to see her, she is content with me just being there "in Spirit" as she says. She has been hanging onto the kitty, I sent her, with a death grip, won't let anyone touch it. She doesn't trust anyone but me. There have been a number of times that I have cried over this, since she has been so sick. I have done nothing but wanted to be by her side, yet there is this nurse that has been going above and beyond, for her and for me. They are going to do surgery on her brain to try and get as much of the mass out as they can and hopefully that will stop the seizures and the frequency that she has been going into cardiac arrest. The nurse is going to stay in her room with her til she goes in for surgery, at 4am, it will be a 8hr surgery. The woman is being there physically for her where I can't. I gotta say, nurses are the best.
Anyway, this young woman - at least I think she is young. For some reason her and I just hit it off and have been communicating, on and off over the last 2 years. Her and I have become quite close, it is rather strange to be so close to someone who is miles away from me. I did figure out that she is in the Columbus, OH area. You see, she was recently diagnosed with lung cancer and now there is a mass on her brain that initially the couldn't remove: however, this mass has been causing seizures and cardiac arrest on a number of occasions, plus this morning I thought I lost her. She hadn't woke up from sleep, she went into cardiac arrest, then a seizure. For some reason, she has chosen me to speak for her in any event that she can't speak for herself, and she has it documented for the hospital staff. This is the strangest, yet best friendship that I have had in such a long time. I have been communicating with her main nurse in between times when she is out of it or sedated. The nurse gave me her personal address so that I could send my friend something because her nurse said that the patients don't always receive their mail. I just sent a stuffed kitty that I was given when I left a job, quite sometime ago. She then had that same nurse help her to send me somethings. When I received the stuff she wanted me to have is when that made our friendship so very real.
There have been s couple of times that I have been overwhelmed by the idea of being friends to some one that I can't go and see. I have no idea what hospital she is in, there are at least 11 hospitals in the Columbus, OH area, there probably is more than that, but 11 that I found on the internet. You see, when the nurse gave me her personal address I googled it to see where it was, and to much to my surprise, her address is close to a town that my Uncle and Aunt live in. That makes it pretty much a guarantee that my friend is in one of the Columbus OH hospitals.
My friend's nurse has been keeping me in the loop on everything and leaving decisions up to me, for the most part. The problem that I have been having with this situation is that I can't be there with her. Also, she doesn't want me to see her, she is content with me just being there "in Spirit" as she says. She has been hanging onto the kitty, I sent her, with a death grip, won't let anyone touch it. She doesn't trust anyone but me. There have been a number of times that I have cried over this, since she has been so sick. I have done nothing but wanted to be by her side, yet there is this nurse that has been going above and beyond, for her and for me. They are going to do surgery on her brain to try and get as much of the mass out as they can and hopefully that will stop the seizures and the frequency that she has been going into cardiac arrest. The nurse is going to stay in her room with her til she goes in for surgery, at 4am, it will be a 8hr surgery. The woman is being there physically for her where I can't. I gotta say, nurses are the best.
Wednesday, June 8, 2016
Today's Session
6/8/16 -- Today's session with my Counselor, was very interesting. I started right off with telling him about the $400 a week job that I thought I had, turned out to be a scam. Told him how I figured it out and reassured him that I didn't cash the check that was sent to me.
I informed him about the 3 day weekend away - how relaxing and uneventful it was. I told him that it was absolutely great that I didn't have to do anything. I slept a lot during that weekend, it was weird but great at the same time. I don't normally sleep that much unless I have a headache, depressed, or sick and I was neither of those. I must be getting old, or something, because sleeping comes a heck of a lot easier than it used to, for me. I had been having a difficult time sleeping the prior two weeks so I guess I caught up on my sleep. I have noticed that I am sleeping til my alarm goes off, or wait a minute, I have been forgetting to turn my alarms on, yet I have been getting up at around 5:30ish; with the help of my four legged, furry alarm clocks. Hahahahaha.
I then went into the situation with my employer's fiancee and how she ended up in the Mental hospital for the last week or so. I told him that I was leery and even a little fearful of having to deal with her again. "J" her fiancee (my employer) went to pick her up from the mental hospital, last night, after the graduation ceremony of his oldest son. That was something that I wasn't looking forward too, because there was/is a part of me that is afraid that she could, inadvertently pull me back to where I have come from, after almost 2 years of fighting to get away from it. My Counselor said that it was a good thing that I recognized that it was possible - he said that, in a way, mental instability is "contagious" but by me recognizing it means that I can deal with it properly and not going "there" if those types of thoughts were to come.
My Counselor and I then moved onto another topic. I clued him in on something that my mentor and I discussed the fact that I have a difficult time accepting encouragement, and such. She asked if I had gotten any of that when I was growing up, to which I responded "no, not from my dad." That could very well explain why I have clicked so well with my former Counselor and now the current one. I gain more from the advice and suggestions, encouragement from those men than I do from women, in this situation. Men come from a different emotional make up, as he put it (my counselor) they are wired differently. Their emotions don't dictate how they react to things like we, as women do. Anyway, My Counselor, then he had this question, Is there a link with the way my dad and I don't have a relationship - didn't get any encouragement from him and the way that I don't have a relationship - not getting anything from him in the way for affirmation? I don't remember the exact question but that is the "gist" of it, anyway. We are at the end of our time so we didn't have time to venture into that topic, but he wants to meet with me next week to delve into it more. He wants me to think about it - think about whether there is a link between my relationship with my dad and I and the relationship between my son and I. When he posed that question - I was completely surprised and had zero answers for him because I hadn't thought about that.
You see Counseling is very helpful because they do know how to pose questions that make you think. They don't plant ideas in your head - their question are based on what you tell them, along with watching the expressions on your face while you relate a story or an experience. My Counselor even told me that I am an "anomaly" because I do what they suggest, I do the work at home, they I am given or suggested to do. I have not liked where I have been so I want to do whatever it takes to get out of the depression - heck I didn't like the thoughts of suicide that I had to the point that it scared me, when those thoughts come back they are still very alarming to me. That fear is what got me to the Counseling center that I have been going to for almost 2 years. If you don't like the depression - I can't understand anyone that enjoys being depressed - you have to recognize that you need help, you need to talk and allow the counselors to help you, open up because the good ones will help you navigate thru the emotional mess that you may or may not have or are at the moment you go to them. Also, one of the most important things is that you have to do the homework they give you. They are giving you different techniques to help when you between sessions and to get you back on solid ground to where you don't need the counseling any more.
I informed him about the 3 day weekend away - how relaxing and uneventful it was. I told him that it was absolutely great that I didn't have to do anything. I slept a lot during that weekend, it was weird but great at the same time. I don't normally sleep that much unless I have a headache, depressed, or sick and I was neither of those. I must be getting old, or something, because sleeping comes a heck of a lot easier than it used to, for me. I had been having a difficult time sleeping the prior two weeks so I guess I caught up on my sleep. I have noticed that I am sleeping til my alarm goes off, or wait a minute, I have been forgetting to turn my alarms on, yet I have been getting up at around 5:30ish; with the help of my four legged, furry alarm clocks. Hahahahaha.
I then went into the situation with my employer's fiancee and how she ended up in the Mental hospital for the last week or so. I told him that I was leery and even a little fearful of having to deal with her again. "J" her fiancee (my employer) went to pick her up from the mental hospital, last night, after the graduation ceremony of his oldest son. That was something that I wasn't looking forward too, because there was/is a part of me that is afraid that she could, inadvertently pull me back to where I have come from, after almost 2 years of fighting to get away from it. My Counselor said that it was a good thing that I recognized that it was possible - he said that, in a way, mental instability is "contagious" but by me recognizing it means that I can deal with it properly and not going "there" if those types of thoughts were to come.
My Counselor and I then moved onto another topic. I clued him in on something that my mentor and I discussed the fact that I have a difficult time accepting encouragement, and such. She asked if I had gotten any of that when I was growing up, to which I responded "no, not from my dad." That could very well explain why I have clicked so well with my former Counselor and now the current one. I gain more from the advice and suggestions, encouragement from those men than I do from women, in this situation. Men come from a different emotional make up, as he put it (my counselor) they are wired differently. Their emotions don't dictate how they react to things like we, as women do. Anyway, My Counselor, then he had this question, Is there a link with the way my dad and I don't have a relationship - didn't get any encouragement from him and the way that I don't have a relationship - not getting anything from him in the way for affirmation? I don't remember the exact question but that is the "gist" of it, anyway. We are at the end of our time so we didn't have time to venture into that topic, but he wants to meet with me next week to delve into it more. He wants me to think about it - think about whether there is a link between my relationship with my dad and I and the relationship between my son and I. When he posed that question - I was completely surprised and had zero answers for him because I hadn't thought about that.
You see Counseling is very helpful because they do know how to pose questions that make you think. They don't plant ideas in your head - their question are based on what you tell them, along with watching the expressions on your face while you relate a story or an experience. My Counselor even told me that I am an "anomaly" because I do what they suggest, I do the work at home, they I am given or suggested to do. I have not liked where I have been so I want to do whatever it takes to get out of the depression - heck I didn't like the thoughts of suicide that I had to the point that it scared me, when those thoughts come back they are still very alarming to me. That fear is what got me to the Counseling center that I have been going to for almost 2 years. If you don't like the depression - I can't understand anyone that enjoys being depressed - you have to recognize that you need help, you need to talk and allow the counselors to help you, open up because the good ones will help you navigate thru the emotional mess that you may or may not have or are at the moment you go to them. Also, one of the most important things is that you have to do the homework they give you. They are giving you different techniques to help when you between sessions and to get you back on solid ground to where you don't need the counseling any more.
Monday, June 6, 2016
This Past Weekend
6/6/16 -- Something very interesting happened this past weekend. I actually had a pretty decent weekend. That hasn't happened in a very, very long time.
I actually managed to get a lot accomplished and that hasn't happened in a very long time. My weekends usually are composed with doing the grocery shopping; maybe a meeting with my mentor, and/or cleaning a salon (that is once a month) however, after the grocery shopping I usually am so wiped out that I just don't want to do the cooking that I need to do to get ready for the following week. The same usually goes for Sunday, as well. I usually end up napping on both days and just watching TV. I really haven't enjoyed weekends for such a long time. It's been two years, almost, since I have enjoyed weekends.
This past weekend, I cannot explain what got into me, because I actually couldn't lay down and take a nap after my errands were run. So, after eating my lunch and attempting to nap, I got up and actually started putting things together for one of the salads that I had planned on for a meal this week. I couldn't do anything with the proteins because they were frozen, still. I also, prepped the other ingredients for the other salad. I actually enjoyed getting the stuff ready and put together to eat. I had decided on 2 salads and then chicken and fish for the proteins. My plan was to fry both the fish nuggets and the chicken tenders. So, not only did I do some cooking but I also did the clean up too. I don't usually do that either, usually I do the cooking and leave the mess til the next day or later, like right before going to bed.
I suppose you could say that I am moving farther away from the deep, dark hole that I came from, almost 2 years ago. I guess maybe, just maybe I am finally moving forward instead of just being "stuck" in this same place. I can't say that I am to the point of being "happy" but just maybe "joy" is the word for me. Happiness has to do with the circumstances where as joy is just something that is there because of Jesus Christ. My circumstances haven't changed being that my son and I haven't reconciled and I haven't seen my grandchildren but I think that maybe I am coming closer to accepting things for what they are, for now. I still am not happy about it, don't like it one bit; however I have got to move on while still leaving the "door open a crack." Or another analogy, that I used in Counseling, is that it is time to close the current chapter and open & start a new chapter. The book is open but the chapters need to change, so to speak. I am not accountable to God for what my son does, anymore, haven't been once he moved into the age of "knowing what he wants to do" that age is different for everyone.
Again, I would like to remind everyone that I am not preaching to any of you. I know what has been working for me; only you know what works for you. I encourage you to make sure that you have a strong, close knit group of friends and/or family to help you thru. I also encourage that if you are prescribed medication for your depression, to take it faithfully and go to the counseling sessions and/or groups because they can be and are very helpful. You will be surprised at how much you learn about yourself, if you are willing. Part of the counseling is doing the work needed at home, too. I know from my own experience that it isn't as easy as people may think, facing things about yourself is difficult but it's a good thing. You may surprise yourself and find out just how strong you really are. I know I did.
I actually managed to get a lot accomplished and that hasn't happened in a very long time. My weekends usually are composed with doing the grocery shopping; maybe a meeting with my mentor, and/or cleaning a salon (that is once a month) however, after the grocery shopping I usually am so wiped out that I just don't want to do the cooking that I need to do to get ready for the following week. The same usually goes for Sunday, as well. I usually end up napping on both days and just watching TV. I really haven't enjoyed weekends for such a long time. It's been two years, almost, since I have enjoyed weekends.
This past weekend, I cannot explain what got into me, because I actually couldn't lay down and take a nap after my errands were run. So, after eating my lunch and attempting to nap, I got up and actually started putting things together for one of the salads that I had planned on for a meal this week. I couldn't do anything with the proteins because they were frozen, still. I also, prepped the other ingredients for the other salad. I actually enjoyed getting the stuff ready and put together to eat. I had decided on 2 salads and then chicken and fish for the proteins. My plan was to fry both the fish nuggets and the chicken tenders. So, not only did I do some cooking but I also did the clean up too. I don't usually do that either, usually I do the cooking and leave the mess til the next day or later, like right before going to bed.
I suppose you could say that I am moving farther away from the deep, dark hole that I came from, almost 2 years ago. I guess maybe, just maybe I am finally moving forward instead of just being "stuck" in this same place. I can't say that I am to the point of being "happy" but just maybe "joy" is the word for me. Happiness has to do with the circumstances where as joy is just something that is there because of Jesus Christ. My circumstances haven't changed being that my son and I haven't reconciled and I haven't seen my grandchildren but I think that maybe I am coming closer to accepting things for what they are, for now. I still am not happy about it, don't like it one bit; however I have got to move on while still leaving the "door open a crack." Or another analogy, that I used in Counseling, is that it is time to close the current chapter and open & start a new chapter. The book is open but the chapters need to change, so to speak. I am not accountable to God for what my son does, anymore, haven't been once he moved into the age of "knowing what he wants to do" that age is different for everyone.
Again, I would like to remind everyone that I am not preaching to any of you. I know what has been working for me; only you know what works for you. I encourage you to make sure that you have a strong, close knit group of friends and/or family to help you thru. I also encourage that if you are prescribed medication for your depression, to take it faithfully and go to the counseling sessions and/or groups because they can be and are very helpful. You will be surprised at how much you learn about yourself, if you are willing. Part of the counseling is doing the work needed at home, too. I know from my own experience that it isn't as easy as people may think, facing things about yourself is difficult but it's a good thing. You may surprise yourself and find out just how strong you really are. I know I did.
Friday, June 3, 2016
I don't know
6/3/16 -- Over the last, almost, 2 years I have learned so much about myself, yet I don't think that I have completely believed it. My Counselors both prior and current have been telling me that I have been doing a good job and/or I am stronger than I give myself credit for. I have had such a hard believing all the good things that the both of them have been telling me. I have had such a difficult time believe the compliments that people give me, and I am not completely sure why. It may be because I didn't receive a whole lot of them, growing up. I also think that I seek some sort of comfort or something from men (not in an unhealthy way) because I never got much of anything from my dad, growing up. I just love that perspective that God had given to men and the fact that they give their opinions without too much emotion. I have a very healthy respect for the men that God has allowed to be in my life.
While I was out of town for the long weekend, the house that I stayed at happen to have 2 beautiful English Mastiffs. These 2 dogs are pretty darn big!! Yet, one of them, Pippa was the most affectionate out of the two of them. Emma was pretty darn shy - there was a couple of storms that blew thru and that is when she came out of her pen and played across the base of her mama's chair which then would stretch over close to me and she would let me pet her.
There was something about having the affection of a dog and having to take care of it. Pippa would put her big ol' paw on my hand because she wanted to me continue to pet her. When I went to leave she didn't want me to leave.
The young woman that I was hired to help ended up in the psyc ward in the next major city becauseof a break down. I could sense that something wasn't quite right because of the conversations that her had, had over the last couple of weeks. She starting really breaking down on Tuesday morning and it carried into over night. I received a call from her Fiancee the hired me that he was taking her to the ER and then ultimately to the next biggest city's major hospital/psyc ward. Yet, I am still working - that is a good thing but not so much for her. I do work next week the same hours that I worked to day after that I am no sure. I guess it will depend on what happens with her. From what I understand, she isn't being cooperative with the doctors. Someone really needs to get her to understand that if she doesn't cooperate she won't get better. She needs to get better for the boys, most definitely but also for her fiancee.
Today went pretty smoothly. Grandma came over to get the oldest off the bus but then she had to get to the doctor because she has been battling a cold for like 3 weeks. By the time she stopped by again, I had fed the boys lunch and the oldest's teachers were there and upstairs with him. She didn't stick around for very long, I encouraged her to go ahead and go home to rest and let the medications that she was given to work. I hope she sleeps better tonight, with out coughing.
While I was out of town for the long weekend, the house that I stayed at happen to have 2 beautiful English Mastiffs. These 2 dogs are pretty darn big!! Yet, one of them, Pippa was the most affectionate out of the two of them. Emma was pretty darn shy - there was a couple of storms that blew thru and that is when she came out of her pen and played across the base of her mama's chair which then would stretch over close to me and she would let me pet her.
There was something about having the affection of a dog and having to take care of it. Pippa would put her big ol' paw on my hand because she wanted to me continue to pet her. When I went to leave she didn't want me to leave.
The young woman that I was hired to help ended up in the psyc ward in the next major city becauseof a break down. I could sense that something wasn't quite right because of the conversations that her had, had over the last couple of weeks. She starting really breaking down on Tuesday morning and it carried into over night. I received a call from her Fiancee the hired me that he was taking her to the ER and then ultimately to the next biggest city's major hospital/psyc ward. Yet, I am still working - that is a good thing but not so much for her. I do work next week the same hours that I worked to day after that I am no sure. I guess it will depend on what happens with her. From what I understand, she isn't being cooperative with the doctors. Someone really needs to get her to understand that if she doesn't cooperate she won't get better. She needs to get better for the boys, most definitely but also for her fiancee.
Today went pretty smoothly. Grandma came over to get the oldest off the bus but then she had to get to the doctor because she has been battling a cold for like 3 weeks. By the time she stopped by again, I had fed the boys lunch and the oldest's teachers were there and upstairs with him. She didn't stick around for very long, I encouraged her to go ahead and go home to rest and let the medications that she was given to work. I hope she sleeps better tonight, with out coughing.
Wednesday, June 1, 2016
Attempting.......
6/1/16 -- You know it seems that every time that I made headway out of this "funk" there seems to always be something that creeps up threatening to try to bring me back to the "funk". This time it is the fact that someone from a website that I was using to find a childcare job, Care.com, was attempting to scam me. The only reason that I am pretty confident that it is a scam, is that when I emailed the, supposed woman, that I was communicating with, to find out and make sure that it was a for real. I was respectful when asking the question wanting to just protect myself because I have an attempt similar to that happen to me before. I haven't heard back from this person, then yesterday, I received a check from a bank that is reputable but the company listed on the check doesn't seem to exist in the place that is listed. I just don't know, so very bizarre. I also was supposedly to receive a list of things to purchase for these people with an address to take it all too. So, I just am not going to cash it, the amount too, is rather strange. So, basically that means that I don't have a housekeeping job that is supposedly to start on the 11th of this month. I am not quite sure how to show up to a place if I don't have an address.
Just the idea that this ended up being a scam could be a catalyst for sending me back down the rather slippery slope that I am doing my darnedest to stay away from. Thankfully, I haven't felt that badly about it, I am bummed but too awfully sad about it because it is better than being conned out of money that I don't have to spare. Now, I am not clear what I am supposed to do, as far as, whether I move or not move.......
Just the idea that this ended up being a scam could be a catalyst for sending me back down the rather slippery slope that I am doing my darnedest to stay away from. Thankfully, I haven't felt that badly about it, I am bummed but too awfully sad about it because it is better than being conned out of money that I don't have to spare. Now, I am not clear what I am supposed to do, as far as, whether I move or not move.......
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