I don't know

6/3/16 -- Over the last, almost, 2 years I have learned so much about myself, yet I don't think that I have completely believed it.  My Counselors both prior and current have been telling me that I have been doing a good job and/or I am stronger than I give myself credit for.  I have had such a hard believing all the good things that the both of them have been telling me.  I have had such a difficult time believe the compliments that people give me, and I am not completely sure why.  It may be because I didn't receive a whole lot of them, growing up.  I also think that I seek some sort of comfort or something from men (not in an unhealthy way) because I never got much of anything from my dad, growing up.  I just love that perspective that God had given to men and the fact that they give their opinions without too much emotion.  I have a very healthy respect for the men that God has allowed to be in my life.
   While I was out of town for the long weekend, the house that I stayed at happen to have 2 beautiful English Mastiffs.  These 2 dogs are pretty darn big!!  Yet, one of them, Pippa was the most affectionate out of the two of them.  Emma was pretty darn shy - there was a couple of storms that blew thru and that is when she came out of her pen and played across the base of her mama's chair which then would stretch over close to me and she would let me pet her.
  There was something about having the affection of a dog and having to take care of it.  Pippa would put her big ol' paw on my hand because she wanted to me continue to pet her. When I went to leave she didn't want me to leave.
  The young woman that I was hired to help ended up in the psyc ward in the next major city becauseof a break down.  I could sense that something wasn't quite right because of the conversations that her had, had over the last couple of weeks.  She starting really breaking down on Tuesday morning and it carried into over night.  I received a call from her Fiancee the hired me that he was taking her to the ER and then ultimately to the next biggest city's major hospital/psyc ward.  Yet, I am still working - that is a good thing but not so much for her.  I do work next week the same hours that I worked to day after that I am no sure.  I guess it will depend on what happens with her.  From what I understand, she isn't being cooperative with the doctors.  Someone really needs to get her to understand that if she doesn't cooperate she won't get better.  She needs to get better for the boys, most definitely but also for her fiancee. 
  Today went pretty smoothly.  Grandma came over to get the oldest off the bus but then she had to get to the doctor because she has been  battling a cold for like 3 weeks.  By the time she stopped by again, I had fed the boys lunch and the oldest's teachers were there and upstairs with him.  She didn't stick around for very long, I encouraged her to go ahead and go home to rest and let the medications that she was given to work.  I hope she sleeps better tonight, with out coughing.