This Past Weekend

6/6/16 -- Something very interesting happened this past weekend.  I actually had a pretty decent weekend.  That hasn't happened in a very, very long time.
  I actually managed to get a lot accomplished and that hasn't happened in a very long time.  My weekends usually are composed with doing the grocery shopping; maybe a meeting with my mentor,  and/or cleaning a salon (that is once a month) however, after the grocery shopping I usually am so wiped out that I just don't want to do the cooking that I need to do to get ready for the following week.  The same usually goes for Sunday, as well.  I usually end up napping on both days and just watching TV.  I really haven't enjoyed weekends for such a long time.  It's been two years, almost, since I have enjoyed weekends.
  This past weekend, I cannot explain what got into me, because I actually couldn't lay down and take a nap after my errands were run.  So, after eating my lunch and attempting to nap, I got up and actually started putting things together for one of the salads that I had planned on for a meal this week.  I couldn't do anything with the proteins because they were frozen, still.  I also, prepped the other ingredients for the other salad.  I actually enjoyed getting the stuff ready and put together to eat.  I had decided on 2 salads and then chicken and fish for the proteins.  My plan was to fry both the fish nuggets and the chicken tenders.  So, not only did I do some cooking but I also did the clean up too.  I don't usually do that either, usually I do the cooking and leave the mess til the next day or later, like right before going to bed.
   I suppose you could say that I am moving farther away from the deep, dark hole that I came from, almost 2 years ago.  I guess maybe, just maybe I am finally moving forward instead of just being "stuck" in this same place.  I can't say that I am to the point of being "happy" but just maybe "joy" is the word for me.  Happiness has to do with the circumstances where as joy is just something that is there because of Jesus Christ.  My circumstances haven't changed being that my son and I haven't reconciled and I haven't seen my grandchildren but I think that maybe I am coming closer to accepting things for what they are, for now.  I still am not happy about it, don't like it one bit; however I have got to move on while still leaving the "door open a crack."  Or another analogy, that I used in Counseling, is that it is time to close the current chapter and open & start a new chapter.  The book is open but the chapters need to change, so to speak.  I am not accountable to God for what my son does, anymore, haven't been once he moved into the age of "knowing what he wants to do" that age is different for everyone.
  Again, I would like to remind everyone that I am not preaching  to any of you.  I know what has been working for me; only you know what works for you.  I encourage you to make sure that you have a strong, close knit group of friends and/or family to help you thru.  I also encourage that if you are prescribed medication for your depression, to take it faithfully and go to the counseling sessions and/or groups because they can be and are very helpful.  You will be surprised at how much you learn about yourself, if you are willing.  Part of the counseling is doing the work needed at home, too.  I know from my own experience that it isn't as easy as people may think, facing things about yourself is difficult but it's a good thing.  You may surprise yourself and find out just how strong you really are. I know I did.