Once Again

12/30/18 -- Welp, the holidays are here, altho, they are almost done, thank goodness. I have to say that the holidays aren't exactly the funnest of times for me, at this point in time.  I have had too many people, in my family, pass way over the last year along with the fact that I am still not able to spend any time with my granddaughters.  So, this years group of holidays aren't exactly leaping for joy or fun.  I have even decided to scale back the frequency of messages to my son simply  because he has be rude and dishonoring by not responding to the messages within a reasonable amount of time. It's quite disheartening and discouraging to not get any response whatsoever, with regards to spending time with them.  So, I am pretty
much done sending messages as frequently as I had been.
  I am not giving up, not by a long shot!  I am going to send them a care package with some cookies, and a card.  I do know the way to my son's stomach, I am pretty much sure that hasn't changed much.  Not to mention the fact that I know the girls will enjoy the goodies too.  I just wish I could have made them with the girls, but oh well, someday.
  I am just not going to drive myself crazy. I was talking to my Uncle about all the rudeness going on and he basically told me to stop driving myself crazy, then defined crazy as "doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result."  Of course, he did talk to me about different thing associated with the difficulty that my son is presenting to me and explaining how I should approach or not approach the situation.
  My Uncle brought up something that I am still having issues with trying to understand but I still have to figure out what to do so that I am not spending my life waiting on my son.  I do so feel like I am waiting on him, instead of doing something.  However, I don't know what to do or what I should be doing.  I feeling my life is in a kind of limbo because I don't what I would like to do, but it depends on our reconciliation, at least in my mind it does.  I have this situation of only two jobs neither of which support me sufficiently enough for me to completely content.