Changes Suck

5-27-15 -- More developments or should I say specifics that have come out just in the last couple of days.  My son and family are moving [without telling me personally] like 3 hours away!  To me it feels like half a country away, mainly because I don't have an address to be able to keep in some sort of touch. {i.e sending birthday, christmas, anniversary cards}  This development has pretty much broken my heart.
  I had session with my counselor, yesterday, and we discussion a variety of things that happened over the last month. (It has been a month since my last session)  It had been a rocky, roller coaster of a month too. Between the serious thoughts of committing myself because I was thinking of suicide again and being talked out of it again.  My counselor is very caring and just wanted me to start the session of myself, so I did.  I started to tell him about the one thing that I am having a very difficult thing with.  
  That one thing is; I have always been known as my son's mom and I always had a certain amount of pride in that.  For a while there has been comfort in that 'title' but now there is nothing but pain and dishonor. So, as I was explaining my dilemma, my counselor, interrupts to make a suggestion.  That suggestion is; "flip the coin over" and see how "wonderful, kind," and I can't remember all the descriptive words he used to encourage me.  As he was talking I was just sitting there listening, smiling and even possibly even chuckling because he was echoing some of the same words that someone else I know, has already told me.{Imagine that}  I really like my counselor because he is a good listener and he is always encourages me.  He asked me what I was going to do the day of the move, when my son and family move?  I told him that I didn't know, so he suggested that I have a plan in place - knowing that is something that could also push me over the edge.
  I did notice on my calendar that is a day that a graduation party is scheduled, so maybe that is a good thing.
  I just don't know how to do all these changes.  I need to rediscover who I am without always being known as my son's mom.  I am always going to be his mom but I am also my own person.   Who am I without that "title" that others have placed on me, especially others that are his age?  That is something that I really need to rediscover who I am, there in lies the challenge.