WHY??????

3/7/19 -- So, It's been several weeks since I have been in church and no one had bothered to check in on me, til I made the effort.  I gotta admit that I am quite irritated at the fact that I had to initiate the contact before anyone one acknowledged that they had been thinking about me.  I sent an email to the Pastor of the home church I was attending before they moved to a bigger town about an hour away from me.  They had become good friends, yet busy people.  She is a Opthmologist, and he is a Pastor and they are church planters.  Anyway, I sent an email to, briefly, let them know why I have been missing church.  It was a "short and sweet" email, cause I was and still am quite irritated that I had to actually to the contacting.  A couple of days later I actually did receive a response from him.  He admitted that him and his wife and been discussing the fact that they hadn't seen me in a while.
  The email let them know that the reason that I hadn't been to church in a long while, like a month or more, by now; is partly because of the weather and more because I haven't had the gas to get to church because I am down to one very part time job.  That was the extent of the email.  I was quite irritated at the fact that I had to send something to get something in return.  I actually thought that because I hadn't been around for awhile that someone would have somehow made contact with me, to find out what was going on.  Nope, no one has made contact with me, til I made contact!
  So, their email thanked me for letting them know and acknowledged that they just had discussed my not being around, and they were worried.  When in all actuality, that is what angers me because they didn't call, text, or email me to find out what was going on.  He said that he had just gotten  back from overseas and was preparing to head out again.  He said that they were planning a trip to Monroe, so then we could "hook" up then. By we, I mean his family and I.
   Here lately I have felt pretty much all alone.  I don't have a support system close to me, anymore.  Plus, I can't get to my support system, as regularly as I had been and as I need.  My Psychiatrist won't continue reducing my medication because my counselor is leaving and that means that I have to adjust to something or someone different.  I am feeling quite numb to things that I don't think I should be numb to.