4/23/16 -- You know this last, almost, 2 years has been quite a journey for me. I am almost 50 (got a couple years before I reach that) and I never, ever thought that I would be fighting to get away from depression and stay away from it. This battle has been such an emotional rollercoaster and I gotta tell you I hate it! I am not the emotional type but this season of my life has been extremely emotional and I don't like one bit! So, over the last couple of months I have been avoiding going to the place, that causes me such emotional upheaval. I do know that avoiding something is not the best thing because avoidance pretty much means that it isn't being dealt with or confronted. My new Counselor wants me to deal with the emotional issues which I know that I do need to. Thankfully, I am seeing this Counselor because I know that I can't deal with our overcome this all by myself.
This journey has taught me a lot about myself. I do have a problem with accepting the encouragement that other give me. Ever since I started seeing a Counselor, I have really been trying to accept the encouragement that he gives me along doing my best to follow his instructions or doing the homework that was given. I really do have to say that I am really thankful that I have a Male Counselor because he has a perspective that is way different than any woman that I have as a friend. I do believe that it's because God created them definitely less emotional than we have been created.
Also, he hasn't been afraid to tell me the truth but there is a gentleness about the way they do it.
I want to encourage you and anyone you know that if you are in a dark place get help and don't be afraid to talk about what you are dealing with. Yes, sometimes medication is necessary but hopefully the Psychiatrist will include counseling with the medication. The counseling is so beneficial especially when you get paired with a Counselor that you just "click" with, like I did. Please, Please don't ignore the signs of friends who are just crying out for help. Please don't misunderstand the signs they are displaying, don't let anyone in your life commit suicide. Suicide just isn't the way out because the people that are left behind are wondering why. If you are in that place where suicide looks like the best out, please be afraid of what you are thinking and seek out help from your regular doctor who should guide you to the "behavioral health" department of whatever clinic/hospital that you have in your city or town. Also, please, please trust a close friend and talk to them about whatever is going on and maybe they can get you the help, if there isn't a hospital/clinic that you trust than a suicide hotline - the person on the other end of the line will be able to get you the help you need and talk with you and hopefully be able to talk you out of committing suicide. Trust me you really don't want to die, when it comes down to it death isn't what you want, you need help to get out of the dark place and there is help out there. I will not say that it is easy because it isn't, this has been a very difficult road/journey but I am thankful that I am still here. If I had died I would have left my mom to deal with dad on her own because my sister isn't much help at all. She is self-centered right now. Also, I would miss my grandchildren, watching them grow up even tho it is via picture, only right now. I will not say that is easy to see, knowing that I can't hold them and hold them.
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