1/8/17 -- You know, it sucks getting old, and I am not all that old, yet I feel like I am. There are parts of my body that feel like are falling apart. I have an ankle that is not the best, so I have to wear a brace on it, whenever I leave the house so avoid breaking it. I am in need of an chiro adjustment due to my ribs and back needing to be adjusted back into their rightful spots. My other ankle is weak but still pretty good; but then there is my right foot-closer to my big toe and the one next to it. There seems to be something enflamed in the joints area that is causing pain for me to walk and especially long term standing. I have had to put "Dr. Scholls" supports for the ball of your foot, (if you were to wear heels) and that seems to be helping when I wear my tennis shoes. However, just walking about my apt. means that I am not wearing my shoes and my foot is just aching, the top of the foot is wear the pain is shooting to. The orthopedic dr. that I went to see said the do that for 2 weeks, and if that doesn't help then I need to try a medrol pack, which a decreasing series of a steroid to reduce the inflammation, that seems to be there. To just top things off, the pain goes right up my leg to my hip, so I definitely needed to do something. Hopefully, when I message the dr. and after the medrol pack the inflammation will go down, I do not relish the idea of having surgery on my foot and being off work for any amount of time.
Then there is my weight -- I haven't been overly happy with my weight, for quite a while but have been stalling about doing something about it. Yet, this time as I am preparing to go to the grocery store; I have been mulling over get the ingredients for the smoothies that I like. Since I don't have to be at work, all that early in the morning, I have plenty of time to get that stuff ready and drink at the same time. I had lost at least 20lbs when I did this last year. It was my choice to completely stop it, when I could have, should have kept up at least a part of it. Taking off that stupid 20+ lbs that I gained last year is something that I really want to do, yet if I have a foot that continues to bother me, how the heck can I add exercise to the mix?
There hasn't been much more in the way of progress with my son. This morning I sent him a message; requesting to schedule a meeting with all of us, in a location that is somewhere in the middle of where the two of us live. Naturally, I haven't heard anything back, as of yet. I know they went to church this morning and was more than likely there when I sent the message. I didn't have church because the people that host/teach were gone on vacation. Now, I know I very well could have gone to a different church but I just didn't want to. Sometimes, I just want to not have to get up and go anywhere, so when the hosts/leaders of the church are gone I don't mind taking advantage of them being gone, and just staying home. You see, I am pretty much a home body, I like staying home and just being home. I don't mind doing things outside the house but at the same time I prefer staying home.
When I was going thru the darkest, deepest part of my depression it wasn't a good idea for me to just stay home. To be honest, I was very thankful to have the few commitments that I had because I needed to make sure that I was around people, as much as I was comfortable. I know that was a small tool in my recovery, work was another, as much as I wish I didn't have to work, or at least not be the only "bread winner" in my household, working was most certainly a good thing. Now, I am in a great place, because it is safe for me to be home, alone, and I don't mind. As a matter of fact, I am back to enjoying the time alone. There are parts of the family that I work with/for that wear on me, for that matter, are annoying. I love children, yet their boys get on my nerves, that isn't normal for me.
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