12/16/16 -- So, it is snowing, again. Thankfully, it is snowing Friday into Saturday which means that by Sunday, all should be pretty good, just freakin' cold. That means that my boyfriend should be able to come to visit me. He is working on coming on coming down on Sunday. It has been over a month since the last time we've seen each other, it is actually driving us both nuts. I have been in love before, but this time is so much different and I am loving every minute of it. Oh ok, there is one part of this time of being in Love that I am not so much enjoying, and that is the fact that my sleep has been completely knocked for a loop. I haven't had a completely good night sleep since the last time we were together. The same has been going on for him, he hasn't slept all that well, either. I have never experienced anything like this. I love it, but this whole, not seeing each other, is driving me crazy. The physical distance between us and his schedule just isn't fair. I am not sure just how long I can stand this distance.
We have talked about marriage but of course, this whole distance (he was sick for about 3wks, then something else came up, then last weekend we had snow) is more difficult than I ever thought it would be. I never expected the emotion that I have been feeling, him too, has just been drastically different and a yo-yo, for me. He has been dealing with the same emotions. I just can't believe that my sleep has been interrupted because of my love for him and my need for him to be close to me. I almost can't wait to be with him 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
I never expected that being in-love with someone, who is in-love with me just as much, would be like this. I day dream about him, I think about him day in and day out. I haven't dreamed about him, altho I have had a dream or two that has had him come across my mind. Apparently, when I do sleep I have been in a deep sleep that I haven't remember very many of my dreams. Yet, I do day dream about him all the time. I have had many thoughts of what it would be like living with a man, sharing a bed with a man, something that I haven't done in over 20 years. We haven't had much of an opportunity to get to know each other other than via texting. That is fine but nothing replaces seeing each other face to face.
I just can't believe how far I have come since July of 2014. I hadn't had any man in my life, my life had been completely turned upside down to the point of wanting to commit suicide; to where I am now, in a serious relationship with a man that really does care about me, for who I am. I, also, care about him just for who he is. I want to give him the things that I can that he deserves. As much as he wants to give me, I want to give him. There are things that I want to do for him that I didn't do for my ex. This man just blows my mind with the way he talks to me, sweet things, encouraging, and wonderful things. He speaks words that my ex never spoke to me. Sometimes, I feel like I have to pinch myself because it just doesn't seem real. I never expected to fall in love, ever again. Yet, here I am, in Love and wanting to be, feeling special and wanted.
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