Disappointed

3/19/17 -- So, 2 weeks ago, I put an application at a local car dealership, with the hopes of getting the job, naturally.  You see I have been unemployed for 3 weeks ish, anyway I was called for an interview which ended up being scheduled for this past Tuesday.  I went for the interview, which was quite short.  One of the shortest interviews of that kind that I have ever had.  I did learn that this job was to become more than I thought it was supposed to be.  I initially thought it was to be part time, but it was a full time job with benefits and the ultimate goal of working from home, after a year.  Mind you, this job was something that I really wanted, something that I have wanted since I graduated from High School.  The man that interviewed me said that there was two other people that he was to interview and that by Friday he would let us know one way or another.   Well.....needless to say, he didn't keep his word on letting me know one way or another this past Friday, like he said he would.  By 5pm I figured that I didn't get the job, because I didn't hear from him.  
  I can't even describe just how disappointed I was, by the end of Friday.  I had post phoned doing anything that would take me away from my phone for too long, so that I wouldn't miss the call.
I was so disappointed that I ended up not doing something that I had planned on doing.  I decided that I just needed to allow myself the time to pout, and complain to God til I come back around to the fact that God has something better in mind for me.  I really really wanted that job, not just for the money but because it really is something that I know I would have enjoyed.  Now of course, there is always something that God knows that I don't know, for He knows everything--so it's completely possible that there was something about the location that He didn't want me to work or expose myself too, who knows,....... He does.  The hardest part of this situation is that I have always had a difficult time completely trust God where my finances are concerned, so this is a true test for me.  Whenever I have run into situations like this I have relied on my mom, I would ask her for help.  My mom, never has had a problem with helping me out.  Now, I am really trying not to ask her, if she offers then I will accept, but I am really restraining myself from just asking her.  I am trusting (doing my best) in God
to completely provide for my needs, both in paying my bills and helping me find a job.
   It's nice knowing that God doesn't mind when we need to complain, or even pout.  He wants us to come to Him with all our problems rather than internalizing it and becoming depressed and such like that.  I did just that, vented and expressed how much that I wanted that job, and that I just didn't quite understand and all that stuff.  However, I have come around to the fact that God has something even better for me, now even tho I don't, yet, know what that is and why He didn't allow for me to have that job, I am working my way to being ok with that.  I have successfully been able to stay away from the darkness that can easily suck me back in, if I let it.  I will admit that I did have one thought of suicide cross my mind, but that thought didn't stick around long at all.  I have zero desire for going back to that darkness.  Instead, I have been rereading a devotional that was forwarded to me, a couple of weeks ago, and going back to the promises that God showed over the last couple of years.
  I haven't quit looking for a job, I want to work but God only know what He wants me to do.