1/29/16 -- So, this has been interesting, since my last blog.
I have been going thru so much and trying to cope and get on a strong footing on my anchor, God. I have been trying to avoid dealing with the pain in my life. I want to avoid it because the pull from that 'place' is too strong, right now. According to my Counselor, that is a good thing to do, he said that there is wisdom in that, so long as I don't avoid it forever. I just feel that I can't "go there" til I know that my "anchor" is strong enough that I can't be pulled back in.
Then my mom went to have her knee replaced and is now in rehab. Backtracking a bit; over the last several months my mom has noticed some changes in my dad, not so good changes, either.
He has been falling in a couple of accidents in a short period of time. He has been also having memory issues. So, now since dad took mom to the hospital, early this past Monday, for her surgery, mom hadn't heard or seen dad. He wasn't answering the phone or returning the messages left for him on the answering machine. So, with yesterday being the 4th day since mom had heard from dad, and knowing that he has been falling, I could sense the worry in mom and I was picking up the worry, too. So, I made the trip to my hometown to check on dad.
So, I get there and knocked on the door, since the screen door is locked and I don't have a key for that door. After several minutes I decided it was best to call the Police Dept. and have them help me do a "well check". After the officers came and I answered his questions he went to open the screen door. To my surprise the screen door opened after which the officer let me open the main door. As I was opening the main door, very slowly because I was afraid of what I would find, he started coming to the door. The officer told my dad that he had "his daughter worried". After the officers left I explained to him why I was there. All he did was just laugh it off, and got mom's purse and handed it to me. I was looking in the wrong place for it.
I had him delete all the messages from the answering machine and made sure that he answered the phone whenever we call him. I also assured him that I would be back on Saturday, what he doesn't know it I am bring him something to eat because I don't think that he is eating all the well, if at all - given what my mom has been telling me. He doesn't want me to bring him anything but I am going to anyway. Despite all that we went thru growing up, he is my dad and I love him. The most out of character thing that he did was grab me and give me a very tender hug and kiss, it was the most tenderest hug and kiss x2 that he has EVER given me.
I left there and went to see my mom in rehab to give her, her purse and the couple of other things that she asked me to grab.
I will be going back there tomorrow.
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