Changes.......

2/25/16 --  Life's changes:  Boy I tell you, they suck!  They suck when they don't seem to be changes for the good of things, over all.  They suck because I know that I won't be seeing a particular person after my last session with him, on March 4th.  They suck because when I see the dramatic changes that my dad has gone thru, they are shocking and almost........  They suck because I have a feeling my mom will have to make some decisions, sooner than she expected yet I know that she is trying not to think about it. -- Not that I blame her.  My middle sister FINALLY responded to an email mom sent her giving her an update on things, apparently she was glad mom had let her know and "seemed" concerned about what she had heard about dad.  Yes, I am cynical about my sister's,  so called concern, because she hasn't shown an interest about anything else why now?  She seems no not care unless it suits her and I don't like it.  Don't get me wrong, I love my sister, however, she has gone more than out of her way to keep mom and dad out of their lives.  She hasn't wanted them or myself to interact with her or her family - in any way shape or form - which is just plain wrong and very hurtful/frustrating.
   Anyway, March 4th is the last session with my Counselor!  I don't like that idea at all but I know that there isn't anything that I can do about it.  I am trying to adapt to the idea of whole new Counselor, but I don't like the idea of having to wait til April to see her for the first time.  There is a month and a half/pretty close to 2 months that I won't have seen anyone and to be truthful, that scares me, it scares me a lot.  I know that I am on a cancellation list for her but, as far as, I am concerned that doesn't count because I am not holding my breath for someone to cancel their appt. with her.  The clinic is so short staffed that cancelling just isn't a good idea.
  I decided to make a little gift for him and I am going to find the perfect card that I will be giving to him with the gift.  I want him to know just how much I value him and his advice and the fact that he gave me so much care and forced me to confront things that I really didn't want to.  He was also someone that I have told more things to that I haven't told anyone else, he made feel comfortable in doing that and I just felt like it was information that he would be able to help him to help me understand why I have reacted to this situation the way that I have.  Somehow he became someone that I completely trusted and I don't have very many people in my life that I completely trust like that.
  The last couple of days I have had to deal with an intense headache.  Somehow I am able to work, I guess because I have to but that isn't to say that I wish I didn't have to.  I would much rather just lay around and listen to the tv and nap.  All I want to do when I have this stupid intense headache.  I didn't even go to the volunteer thing that I do every Wednesday night because even tho it seemed like it was somewhat diminished I was leary of the noise of the children and the fluorescent lights that can aggravate the issue.  I just rested and sort of got things ready for today.  However, there are things around my apt. that I wish I would feel like doing because they need done.  Oh, and there is my mom who needs my help to get some things done because of some safety concerns in their house and dad hasn't done any of the "honey do list" that has been around since before he retired.  Since he retired he has done absolutely nothing around the house to update or repair things that he can do.  I am pretty sure that my dad has been depressed but the trouble is that he doesn't admit that he has any issues emotionally or physically which isn't a good thing, at all.  Mom has gotten dad an appt. with his doctor and she is going all the way in with him because she wants to be able to tell his doctor all the stuff that has been going with dad, at home, stuff that he doesn't volunteer at any other time.