Difficult

3/21/16 -- So, my Counselor is gone, as in moved on to a different city, closer to where he lives.  I am totally bummed about this, however I did receive a phone call from the departmental "coach" which is essentially the supervisor.  He wanted to discuss the letter that I had sent expressing my distaste about my Counselor leaving the local clinic.  The Coach happens to be someone that I know, met at my local church a couple of years ago.  He knows my son and even supported him while he was in YWAM, that made the conversation very easy to have.  He was very concerned about me being ok with my Counselor leaving.  The clinic, apparently takes the type of letter that I sent, very seriously.  He wanted to know more about my feelings concerning my Counselor leaving; so I just came out and told him.  I told him how my Counselor was able to; read an expression within an expression, how he went to his bookshelf, pulled out a Bible and opened it right the same scripture that someone had texted me earlier that morning, that he wasn't afraid to challenge me about my Faith - whether I was going to church or not and such like that, 
he is someone that I told him things that I haven't told anyone else.  The "Coach" was just blown away about the bible thing, but I had also added that my Counselor was compassionate and I firmly believe that God spoke thru him as I had asked God to do.  We had a very interesting conversation, sort of made me feel a little better.  The one thing that I expressed is the fact that I have to go such a long time before I see the Counselor that I have been assigned to - I am not sure about going that long without having someone to talk to.  As a result of my expressing that concern the Coach gave me is direct office number incase I REALLY need someone to talk to.  Even tho he doesn't see patients on a regular basis he is willing to see patients who are in crisis.  That made me feel somewhat better, as well, because that means that I do have someone to go to should I need too.  Also, he told me that he knew of another Counselor that I could see should I need to see someone and don't really want to wait til May.  You see, I saw my Counselor for the last time March 4, he left on March 11th - a week later which means that I have to go pretty much 2 months before I see the new Counselor and that is just too long, for me.  Knowing that another Holiday is on it's way and I know that pretty much everyone that I know will be spending time with their families, with exception to me; knowing that there is a good chance that my own family will most likely be in town/area for the holiday and I won't be seeing them.
  It is very difficult to not go the place that says, "everyone close to me is leaving me" and I really trying not to go there.  It almost feels like that.  I don't want to go there because that is such a bad place for me.  Yet, it is tempting because the two people that have really helped me thru this either have gone or will be going, very soon.  My Counselor who was there at the darkest time and has helped me all the way to this point and the family whose children have always been an extremely bright spot in my life.  I won't have those wonderful children around so closely anymore, which is totally not cool at all.  I know, I know they are only moving an hour away and I can go after work, up to spend time with them.  I could take the girls to different places in Janesville, possibly have the older girls on a sleep over and do something fun with them.  At the same time it just isn't the same as having them close to where I could see them any time I want.
  Yesterday, I went to visit my Friend and family in a different town - for an early holiday dinner.  They aren't going to be around next week for the actual holiday.  Her husband's mom and niece were there as well, plus they were expected another pair of guests.  That surprise guest was their oldest daughter, who hasn't been home for about a year and half.  her daughter brought her boyfriend with her.  Needless to say his mom was quite surprised as was his niece, my Friend was quite the sneaky little lady, shame on her.   It was a great surprise and reunion then dinner.  The dessert was yummy as well.
  I did not go to church, no particular reason other than i just didn't wasn't to.  I do realize the that really isn't a good reason but that is just the way it was.  I have zero explanation as to why I really didn't want to go but I didn't and I obeyed my brain, now I don't know whether that was a good or bad thing but oh well.