10/28/16 -- So, you all know that I have met a man, that lives almost 3 hours away from me. Well, 2 weeks ago he was in big city that is closer to me, all day, for meetings. He called me to basically say that he was in a big city closer to me, and that he wanted to come for a visit/first time meeting. So, about an hour and a half later he knocks on my door. Needless to say, I was quite excited to see him, and when I opened the door I was mildly surprised because for some reason I expected him to be taller, than he is. He put me in his arms and kissed me. I gotta say that it felt so relieve being in his arms. I don't know, it just felt like we have know each other for years. The relief was like, he is the one.
Yet, I find myself overwhelmed at the fact that this man talks to me in ways that no man has every talked me, very sweetly and respectful. I am so not used to that, however, I am getting used to it. I find myself feeling things that I have never felt, thinking things that I have never thought and daydreaming about the two of us together. We have been discussing so many things, two of which is marriage and children. So, I am almost a middle aged woman, who is peri-menopausal, and I am having to think about birth control.
I haven't taken birth control, only with the exception of after a miscarriage, to get me back in rhythm.
We have been texting for several weeks and it has been great. He is so sweet and we seem to be having the same thoughts, feelings and such. He actually used the "L" word that I was surprised to hear. I have had issues with no man ever really giving me compliments. I am very much getting used to the way he talks to me. It feels awesome to have a man, in my life, that really cares and lets me know. He has told me that I am beautiful, he is the only man to ever say that to me. I am "enjoying the moment" as he has been telling me.
I have come such a long way from 2 years ago, and I am enjoying it. I finally feel so much better that I just can't believe it. I have such a clear mind with exception to my mind swimming from all the new emotions and feelings from this new relationship. My heart is also much less on the negative emotional side. I still have my moments but they don't last very long and I know how to combat the major negative things that come by.
I am encountering some difficult things right now, one is my dad declining health, no job, and my son who is still not talking to me. Now, while these things are hard to deal with, I am not concerned with the difficulty with my son, at this point because I know, and trust that God is working in it. I have had one little flicker, and that was communication from him after I had told him that (via Facebook messenger) that I am in a relationship. I haven't heard from him since. I have been laid-off from my job - a long term lay-off type thing. The young couple that I had been working for, helping the young mom with her boys. She has has some mental problems, to the point that she was admitted to the psych ward in a major hospital. The fiancee decided to take a 6 wk FMLA from his job to help her at home once she came home. So, consequently I have no job, now. That is just not something that I was looking to encounter, at this point in time.
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