Ups and Downs

2/14/17 -- I really despise it when there are things in this life that attempt to drag you down!
     Over the last couple of weeks things have been a roller coaster where I work.  The young woman is mentally unstable and has had a very difficult couple of weeks, that ultimately culminated in her getting admitted to the psychiatric ward, at a major city hospital about an hour away.  However, she apparently "woke up" to realize that she really didn't want to go but she had already said the word "suicide" and therefore the steps couldn't be stopped.  She spent 72 hours in the psych ward and came home yesterday.  Now, her man has had to make some decisions concerning his job so that he can be home more with her and the boys.  That means that I will no long be working for them on a consistent basis.  He says that he wants me to be available to watch the boys whenever they decide they want to go out, during the day.  What he doesn't seem to realize is that I can't "hang" in limbo like that; never knowing when or if I will get a call.  Now, I am on the hunt for a new job.  I am going to have to completely make a break from them, or just get a couple of cleaning jobs that will give me the same amount, if not more so that I can survive.
    I can't help but think that the timing of this wouldn't be a good time to make a move in the location of my place of residence.  The problem with that is, I haven't got a clue where to go.  Regardless of where I go I need a job and a place to live.  I just don't have a clear direction as to where to go.  As far as my relationship, I feel like it has stagnated and that I am "second fiddle" to his job.  It really sucks that he just can't seem to be able to make the time to come to see me.  Also, I have asked for his address so that I can send a card or something but he has either ignored or hasn't seen the requests, I don't know.   Now, He told me that he lost his phone, I am not sure when that happened but I think that is was sometime during the day yesterday because I hadn't heard from him accept at 4:15am when he got up, then last night at about 9:20pmish which actually surprised me because he usually isn't home til after 10pm.
   Over the week, mainly on Saturday, I help my close friends get pack up so that when the movers (mutual friend) came there would be more stuff all packed up.  I had started getting more packed up on Thursday, the day after they had found a house to rent which was the perfect timing because they have to be out of their house this Friday.  The couple that is still in the house, they are getting their stuff out now, but they allowed my friends to move their stuff into their garage.  The nice thing is, my friends had already packed up a bunch of stuff into two trailers that had been sitting in their driveway since last early spring.   After I had been at the house about 4 hours or so I was ready to leave.  I love helping them but by that time there was plenty of people there and my feet were seriously talking to me, so to speak.  I have been having issues with my right foot and after standing too long it begins to hurt so I took my leave and took care of some other errands.
    I have other friends that will also be moving about an hour east of where I live, which has given me the unsettled feeling that it may also be time for me to leave this town.  I have been the my current apartment for 6 years and that is the longest that I have ever been in one place.  My normal (don't know why) is 3 years.  I also found out that my neighbor and friend for a long time, is moving back to her hometown which is 3 hours north of here, which makes me even more sad and unsettled.  The problem I have is no clear direction from the Lord, as to which where to I go?  By which where, I mean, there are 3 different places I could go ( that I know of): 1 is closer to where my son and his family is - the catch there is we haven't reconciled yet and I would like for that to happen before I move close to them. 2-to the same city where I could and would be closer to be able to be of help to my friends, both of which will be having their "church plants" located, but not that close to together.  3-get married and live with my "husband" which is 3 hours too the east of here.  Of course there is a 4th option and that is one that God has and hasn't disclosed to me yet.
   The great thing is that I am not afraid of change, as a matter of fact I am ready for a change regardless if that mean that I have to move.  I did say that I didn't want to move again unless it was to get married.  I hadn't taken into account what God may want me to do at the time I made that statement.   Therefore, I will go wherever He wants me to go to be the best servant for him.