Something Else........

4/9/17 -- There is something else that I haven't discussed in a while; that is my dad.
  My dad is a 6'4" tall man, who, when I was younger (he was younger, of course too) was mean,intimidating, and worked a lot.  He was never involved in my sisters' or my lives emotionally.  He never went to any performance that we had or anything.  He did very few and I mean very few things with us girls or with the whole family.  However, I no have a couple of good memories, that I know my younger sisters don't have.  Dad did take me fishing with him, 2x.  One time he took me to the local park that has a small river/big creek running thru the middle of it.  Back then, you could walk across the dam and it was safe.  So, the first time we walk across the dam, I was too scared so dad picks me up and carries me across.  When it was time to walk back across he made me walk across but he held my hand.  So, even tho he was intimidating, he was protecting.  The second time he took me fishing, we went to Wisconsin, to a small town, just before a State Park, and we fished under a bridge.  I know that he took me because I am the oldest and I wasn't afraid the bait my own hook, on the end of the fishing pole.  My middle sister was not about to bait her own hook, and dad didn't have the patience to do hers.
There was one time that he took the whole family, fishing.  We went to a State Park, in Wisconsin and fished on the lake.  We rented a boat, and fished in the middle of the lake.  It was fun, to me anyway.  We caught, something like 40 blue gill.
  Other than those times of fishing, the only way that I could spend time with him was to either be under the hood of a car with him or down the basement watching him reload is ammo.  Yes, my dad was very much into gun, and ammo, the reloading of the ammo.  He did take me target practicing with him, once with his dog Rusty.  He was fine with me watching as long as I didn't get in the way.  He would answer my questions, but mostly I just watched him.  I have to admit that those times with him weren't very fulfilling because he never talked to me about anything, unless I asked a question.  He really didn't invest in me or my sisters. Yet, there was a nice streak that would show up, once in a great while. 
  He had bought a car that he was ultimately going to use as parts for the car that was his long term project.  He let me drive the older, soon to be parts car, till I could get a car of my own.  Now, mind you this car was a 1964 Chevy, that was pretty much starting to fall apart.  I even received a "fix-it" ticket for the exhaust and for not having license plate lights.  Dad did get the exhaust fixed for me as long as I agree to pay for half the cost, which I agreed to do. The only thing that I didn't realize, at the time, was the fact that, that car wasn't designed to have license plate lights, it was too old.  I just paid the ticket.
  Now, I had been praying about a particular car, that a friend of mine's dad, had for sale.  One day, I receive an envelope that had a Church's address for a return address; inside the envelope there was a card with the money for the car and the exact amount of money for my half of the repair on that "junk" car.  I bought the car, paid my dad back: now when I went to pay me dad back, he actually partially smiled.  The strange thing was, I don't think he either thought I would pay him back, or he didn't want me to pay him back, I am not quite sure.  The look on his face was puzzling to me.
  I say all of this because that same man is currently in a Nursing Facility, because he doesn't have much balance or much of an ability to communicate what he wants.  My mom is 5' 2" tall and unable to take care of my dad now that he really can't walk and his balance leaves a lot to be desired.  He decline seems to have happened over time, but I think it's more of a surprise to us because at the same time is was kinda quick.
More on this later.......