8/20/15 -- This last week has been an interesting week. The headache has been hanging on, yesterday was physical therapy day, and boy I am telling you, it felt good. The Physical Therapist had me do the first stretches he showed then he had me lay on a table so he could massage the base of my skull & top of my neck. He was really getting the muscle that always is so stinkin tight with this headache. He was actually successful in reducing my headache some more and it really isn't all that bad this morning but I am really trying to keep that muscle from tightening up again.
I had my first visit, in quite a long time, at my Friend's house, a couple of evenings ago. It started out pretty good, we were having a pretty good conversation the an unexpected visitor/s. I didn't mind the additional visitors because who am I to say as I was a guest in their home. I am really trying to not be the person that I have become because I don't like "her", she isn't flexible in anything or with anyone. Altho, on my way home, my Friend did text and invite me back to her place next week so we could have more time to talk to which I responded with sure.
I also ran into another friend that I haven't seen in quite a long time, at Dollar General, we talk briefly about what's been going on in my life with my son because asked about me being a Grandma. I showed her a picture of my littlest granddaughter because she is right on my phone. Then we discussed what was going on, because she asked how my son was doing, so that is how we delved into the whole discussion.
The great thing about that discussion was she had some great advice. I believe that was a "God given run in" because I believe that nothing happens by mistake. She suggested/told me to "buy, date birthday cards for my granddaughters and put notes inside them, then hold them til I could give them to them myself or til they see them after I pass on." So, of course, I seriously thought about what she told me because I have considered that, she confirmed what I had already been toying with. Also, she suggested that I read the story in the Bible about the Prodigal Son, that story is in Luke. I did that last night and it totally fits the situation I am in. Plus, she told me pray for my son in such a way that God would bring people and situations into his life that would cause him to miss me. That is something that I haven't done in quite a while. So, that is what I did last night and will continue to do that because I truly don't know what else to pray for my son; however I have been trusting that God knows exactly what he needs and how to get that young man/child to do what needs to be done for reconciliation.
Then there is my daughter in-law who I believe has been "jawing" not so good things into his ears which hasn't helped his situation with whatever else he has got going on. I pray that God plugs his ears concerning the negative things she says about me, to him. He has been dealing with something very personal and I believe he because of that he hasn't been able to stand up to her negative talk, and tell exactly what what is the truth or tell her that they should confront me themselves to straighten things out. That is also what "ticks" me off!
My prayer for myself is that God would help me to love my daughter in-law because we have never really been able to develop a relationship let alone get to know each other. I believe she has used that to her advantage in being able to talk "smack" about me to my son and know that he can't/won't stand up to her cause he can't given the crap he is already dealing with. The ability to truly love her is what is really important and I mean love with God's love because I highly doubt that I can do that on my own.
Not only that but I also have to seriously work on what I need to discuss with my Youth Pastor and his Wife because they are the family that I have become quite close to and I have decided to make them some important legal people in my life for when I pass away, just in case my son and I haven't reconciled by the that time. {whenever that would be}
By working on this, forces me to go to a place that I haven't wanted to go for a long time. I just don't like becoming that emotional, yet I do almost every two weeks. It's just that this process is the worst case scenario but thankfully this is something that can be changed.
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