Life Sucks

1/10/19 -- Well, today is my little sister's birthday, should would have been 42 today. 😢  My younger sister texted me last night wondering if I was going to spend time with mom, today due to the 2nd birthday since our little sister passed away.  Honestly, I was trying to ignore the fact that today was her birthday, had been doing a decent job, til she texted me.  She said that she was thinking about it, and she got me thinking about it, but more like struggling to figure out what to do:  because I was already struggling, myself.
       Then this morning, I get a text from my mom, telling me that my little niece was admitted to the hospital due to possible appendicitis, so mom was telling me to pray for my niece and sister.  Of course, I am going to do that.
        I then, asked mom how she was doing.  She told me that she was sad, given what today represents.  I then asked mom if I could admit something to her.  When she told me that I could;  I told her that this is the first time that I really didn't want to go down to her, that I am struggling too and confused.  Mom, completely understood and is ok with me staying home.
         I also start dog sitting later this afternoon.  Technically was already supposed to have started but the daughter of the couple has been there and will be leaving later this afternoon.  She makes her own jewelry and had a couple shows, yesterday and she doesn't drive (due to past bad choices she made and the trouble she had gotten into because of those bad choices.) so she doesn't want to have people drive her back and forth from where she lives to her parents house any more than she has too.  So, she was trying to get as much work done as she could, while she was at her parents, her work bench is in her parents shed.  I have to spend the night at these people's house but I can come home and spend some time with my cats and do the babysitting that I have to do everyday from 3-5pm.  I will be doing this dog sitting job, for a whole month.  I have already gotten paid and to be honest, it wasn't too bad.  I kinda let the people decide how much to pay me because I haven't a clue what to charge for dog sitting and I usually get paid pretty good.  It's pretty helpful, in the bill paying dept.