Still Learning

2/17/15 -- There is something else that I have learned about myself that was a real hard lesson.  When I was married my husband was very controlling  and mistrusting.  I am positive that the mistrust that he had of people was passed on to me because I didn't trust others at all.  It took hitting the extreme bottom for me to trust the people that God put around me, I had no choice because there was no way I could have recovered from this,  all by myself.  I most definitely needed the people that were and still are around me.  
  Yes, I do believe that the people that around me are there because God designed it to be that way, He knew what I would need and when.   I am so very thankful that those people that are my friends are very trust worthy because I have needed every one of them.  Not only that but somehow or other I have been able to discern who to trust and who not to trust.  (by God's Grace)  Thankfully I have chosen people have been very supportive and have been prayerful.  I have been doing by best to keep my best to keep everyone up to date on the progress so they can pray specifically, and to certain of them vent where it's appropriate. 
   I have also discovered that some ugliness can come out of me, maybe not super duper ugly, but to me it is ugly.  I don't always like the ugliness that comes out, even tho it is understandable, I still don't like it.  I end up apologizing for what I've said and asking for forgiveness.   This has been one heck of a long learning curve and not an easy one either.  However, I wouldn't trade because I have learned that sometimes we have to go thru tough things in order to strengthen our character or learn something new about ourselves or others.  The reason I say others because there are always others that are watching how we respond to the tough times we are going thru.
   Yes, God allows to thru stuff most of the time it is because he wants to get to something within us that needs changed or adjusted, but sometimes it could be for the benefit of others.  You never know, either way it is our job to do well with the trial or test to get thru it without totally losing it altogether.  We should depend on God and the people around us for support and prayer to get us thru. If you don't believe in God then rely on whatever you rely on to get you thru, but God is who I rely on and He get me thru every time.  I don't always like the process but His timing is better in the end.