6/15/15 -- These last couple of weeks have been a huge challenge for me and I know that I have not been doing a very good job of blogging or being an encouragement to those of you who read this, I apologize. I have really been struggling myself and have not been able to encourage anyone because the moving of my son and family as just thrown me for a loop, in a sense. To further complicate things they did something with my bike that they had been storing for me and {the main, important thing} is they didn't take the gifts that I had for the girls at Christmas time. I just really haven't recovered from that but I have been trying, at the same time I have been going thru a Bible Study that has been giving me "food for thought" so to speak. The Word of God still is my foundation, struggles or not. It has difficult for me to focus on God or the Bible, which is pretty pathetic, when you think about it but oh well.
Then there is this whole headache thing. Yes, the headache has returned, dang it! I have had it now for the last 3-4 days and my Imitrex has somewhat reduced the pain, but in reality not much. Thankfully I do have an appt. with my neurologist on the 25th. However, he requested that I keep him updated via the clinic email, which I have been doing. The headache has been making an appearance over the last couple of weeks as well and my neurologist has been in the loop. This is so not a good thing and I am not very happy about it. I have a bad feeling that this is going to mean some medication adjustment rather than a tapering down of the Topamax.
I also was seriously want to go see my family in Ohio and I was planning I was on taking the train however the ticket went up from one time I checked to the next time I checked - the key thing tho is the return time wasn't working out for me. I want to return on Sunday but they have me returning on Monday which is not a good thing. So, no Ohio this month, hopefully later this year when I can stay longer especially now that I have a much better idea on cost for the train and buses also for the possibility of staying in a hotel the day before the train in Chicago. I can save up for a few months, I checked airlines and they are triple the cost of the train which is ridiculous.
My emotions are so confused right now - I deal with being angry every time someone asks me about my son which then blends into being angry at or with my son, not good. I don't want to be or like being angry with or at my son. I am not consistently angry only when some one inquires about him. Then I deal with being home all the time and having too much on my mind or should I say only one thing on my mind which isn't good because it always takes me to a place I want to stay away from, yet it is very hard to when I really don't have a whole lot to distract me from those thoughts unless I keep the stupid TV on and I kind of get tired of doing that.
This week I have Thursday and Friday off along with the weekend and I am really not liking the prospect of that at all with nothing specially fun to do or go. My birthday is on Thursday and I really am not going to have anyone to celebrate it with, a bummer. I am taking part in a Bible Study on Thursday mornings and I will be taking some special cupcakes for that, other than that, there is nothing else going on. I wish I had more friends that I could do things with.
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