This is the Week

6/1/15 -- Well, here we go this the final week that my son and family will be in town, then they will be gone, just gone, no good-byes, no nothing. :(   This is very upsetting to me and I am doing my very best to not think about it too much but at the same time I can't help it.
  This past Friday was and early day from work so I made a stop at a place that is a Financial institution based on a Christian's point of view, which is awesome.  You see, I have been having a very difficult time focusing on a variety different things as a direct result of depression.  As a result I am having a harder time than normal managing my money which so is not a good thing.  Thankfully, I have recognized this before anything has gotten to seriously out of hand but the idea is to keep it from getting out of hand and to maybe, hopefully prevent the same disaster that seems to happen every year since I have been working for Brian.  The end/to the beginning of the year I always end up very short and I don't like having to borrow/ask for money from my mom.  The reason is; there is no work scheduled for my Boss by his co-worker so when he doesn't work then I don't work.   It is very humbling to open up my finances to someone else and ask for help.  Thankfully this company does it for free and they have the same principles that I want and like but am just having a very difficult doing on my own.
   I have been going back to my local church with the encouragement of the Pastor and others but my Friend and I have been having my friend pick me up cause I didn't want to go alone on Sunday mornings, because at first I was afraid of the question that I thought I might get concerning my son.  I never got those questions, by the way.  Now, tho I still having issues with going alone and being there alone, I just don't like being there alone.  It's weird that I am having such a difficult time acclimating back into my home church.  To top it all off, my Friend and husband are going to stop picking me up after this coming Sunday cause they feeling like they are forcing me to go my local church.  They aren't but they seem to think they are.  They don't understand the trouble that I am having with acclimating that I am having and if they force me into a choice I could very well choose to not go anywhere.  It's not a question of not wanting to go to my local church or feeling forced it's just a feeling that I can't quite explain.