Another Injection

6/30/15 -- So, last Thursday I had and appointment with my Neurologist; a check up after the first injection especially because I was continuing to have headaches.  I also was planning on asking him to refer me to an occupational therapist after talking to him about what is going about  with my wrist and fingers.   After talking to my Dr. for a while he suggested that we do the injection again and wait to wean me off the Topamax.  I was kinda bummed about that part but I understand.  He also asked about how the Imitrex was working and decided  to switch me to a different form of the Imitrex; an injectable form because it gets into the system faster.  The only time Imitrex really works for me is when I take right when the headache comes on otherwise it won't work, at all.   So, that is why The Dr. switched me to that form, gets into my system much faster.   Also, I agreed with him to go ahead with the second injection, in my head, the nerve blocker.    The only reason is because I was continuing to have headaches -- not a continuous one but they would come and go only if I took the Imitrex at the onset of the headache.   Hopefully, prayerfully this injection will last longer and as he put it "push the headache over the edge" and it won't return in any way, shape or form.  I really want to get off the Topamax but now I have to wait til we see how long this injection is going to last.  Bummer.
      I also asked my Neurologist about a referral to an occupational Therapist after explaining to him what was going on; after all he works with the nerves all over the body so he is just as capable of referring me to that person as my going back to the dr. who did the carpal tunnel release a number of years ago.  He didn't have a problem with doing that, at all.
    I know that I really haven't addressed the real reason for the blog and that is my emotional state----well to be honest I have spent some time "running" from that just because of not wanting to deal with the stuff.   I sometimes get so tired of dealing with that stuff that I would like to just run, run, run, run.  Then there is the fact that is weekend is the "not so great anniversary" when  everything spiraled out of control for me.  I am not looking forward to this weekend at all.  I have been trying to come up with a plan, someone to hang out with for part of the day and I have to STAY OFF FACEBOOK all day in order to maintain some level of sanity. 
      You see, my son and daughter in-law now seem to find so much easier to be blatantly  excluding me from their lives, as the girls grandmother.   You can't imagine how much that hurts me.  That is why I just don't want to face it all the time.  I am thankful that I do have "permission" to not face it all the time.  My Counselor told me that I need/should take charge of my depression, not allow it to be in charge of me, so choosing when to go the the "pile of crap" and when not to is a good thing.  I tell you I really just want to run away from this for awhile.
     The thought has cross my mind this morning that I am tired  of jus sitting around here "mopping and doing basically nothing"  I am not happy with this.  I want to get of here is and do something with my life, not exactly sure what or how to go about it but to want or need to do something.