Plugging Away

1/31/15 - I apologize for the length of time since my last posting, when I work it is hard to prioritize my time and make sure I get to bed on time without sacrificing my sleep.  Whenever I sacrifice my sleep I struggle with staying awake the next day.
    I am still struggling with my asthma and coughing and such:  I was prescribed another round of prednisone, last week when I went to see my Pulmonary Doctor for a regular check up.  Then of course there were about 3 days where I had forgotten to take the medication, just be virtue of the location of the meds and where I was eating by breakfast.  I finally had to take my medication and put it in my bedroom where I eat breakfast so that I would remember to take the medication.  I am so sick and tired of coughing.  I am almost wondering if there isn't more going on.
    Absolutely no progress with my son, yet.  I haven't heard anything from the Pastor concerning any meeting, as far as whether anything as occurred or not.  There are times that I wonder if I should give up.  My counsellor, J, asked me if I would ever give up.
I told him that because of my Granddaughters, no way would I give up, those beautiful girls are more that worth fighting for.  My relationship with my son is too.  However, if there were no granddaughters, there is a possibility that I would not fight as strongly for him.  I don't know though because my son and I were so incredibly close that I just don't think that I could completely let go of him.
  This process has been long had very difficult.  I have learned a lot about myself, still nothing about my son.  I have more questions than answers.  I even have a longing to return to my local church rather than to continue to drive to my second home church, but I don't feel that I have clearance to return my home church, this point in time.  
  I thought what I went through with my ex-husband was tough, this has put him to shame!  Honestly, my son should be totally and completely ashamed of himself!  That is my feeling on the whole thing!  He has totally and completely treated my like crap!  He hasn't spoken to me, kept my granddaughters from me!  All of this without any explanation!  Hence, the more question than answers.
That is my feeling on the thing!