5/13/17 -- Our son just loved his dad, at the age of around 2 or 3 he wanted his dad more than me. The one thing that I can say is that my husband(my now ex)did love his son, claimed he loved me but was lousy at showing it. There towards the end he was getting lousy at showing it to his own son!
There was a family that was living behind us, that we started hanging out with, their 9yr old would come over and play with our son. Yet, my ex would do things to be able to be able to have their son at our place or to take him places, instead of our son. On the rare occasion that my ex would let me leave the trailer (where we were living)alone for grocery shopping, only, he would be sure that our neighbor's son was with us already. I didn't find out til wayyyy later what was really going on.
There were mornings that my ex would leave in the mornings to, allegedly, make sure their son would make it to school, "ok". I was getting quite irritated that my ex had begun favoring their son over ours, I just didn't get it.
Then one day, we were at the park walking around when he told me that he was going to be arrested. He told me some other things but I don't completely remember all that he told me. The interesting thing is this man had the capability of being 3 different people. When he was "stoned" he was all down on himself, when he was "drunk" he was either argumentative or violent, when he was "straight" he would lie thru his teeth and had me "buffaloed" for a long time. When he was "stoned" he was also very truthful when talking to me. However, I never really never know when he was telling me the truth. During that last six months or so things started clicking for me and I started seeing the lies that he had been telling me; mainly concerning the running of the "household". He would claim that he had paid the utility bills but then we would receive disconnection notices in the mail, which then told me that he had lied and hadn't paid the bill. Yet, when those notices would come in, I was the one who made the phone call to the utility company to try to figure out how to avoid the disconnection. In the end we would go to some agency like the Salvation Army or something like that to have them pay the bill. Even with the SSD that he was getting he still didn't pay the bills.
Things had gotten so bad that one night we argued so bad that he had me backed up to the wall and was about ready to punch me, (his fist was clinched) our neighbor knocked on the door and screamed thru the door, "if you lay a hand on her I will call the cops!" At which point he backed down and left.
By this time I had been sleeping on the love seat cushions because my sleeping with him supposedly cause his back to hurt worse. I had stopped sleeping with him quite awhile before this. He eventually came home and went to bed. At some point tho, he started talking to me about him leaving for awhile and letting me take care of our son. Little did I know that conversation was a precursor to what was about to happen. Somehow I still loved him, yet I hated what he had been doing to me along with lying to me. I had come to the point where I was no longer, "in love with or blinded by him". I had even tried to get away by going to a domestic violence shelter to find out how they could help me. The problem was, I could follow thru because I got terrified that he knew where I had been. I had convinced me that he always knew where I was.
I haven't gotten to what was going on with our young son. Thats coming.....
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