Trying to Move on

12/12/14 -- {Sept.- Oct.} Throughout this headache process, friend D suggested I try going to a different church, namely one that I was already familiar with.  So, after consulting with friend P, I relented and went to church, with friend D, on Sunday.  Boy, let me tell you, that was the best decision I ever made, or should I say, obeyed.  It was as if I should have been there. It was great!  The worship was awesome!  There was one specific song that was meant for me! Then, the special speaker couldn't even speak what he had until he spoke what he believed God wanted him to say.  Boy, that was directed right at me, WOW!  Unfortunately, because I rode with someone and she was pretty much ready to go right after church, I couldn't talk to the man afterwards.  I came away from that church service actually feeling so much better than I usually do.

   Before I left tho, I did make contact with one of the Pastors' wives, because I just really felt like I needed to speak with someone who I believed would truly help me one step more than the other Pastors have, nothing against them. Some Pastors are gifted in areas where others are not, this Pastor and wife are gifted in area where the Pastor is not, that is a good thing.
  I attend this other church a second time before being able to meet with this other Pastor and wife.  I touched base with this other Pastor's wife and we scheduled a meeting for Monday evening right after work.  This meeting turned out to be the best thing that I could have ever done.  I came away from that meeting hungry, I hadn't eaten anything since lunch but wasn't hungry til after the meeting, feeling so much better.   I hadn't realized how much bitterness and anger I was actually holding onto, not anymore, after that meeting.  They lead me some prayers and they prayed over me and my son, not to mention, the situation.  They also agreed that it is a good idea that I not go back to the other church, til I felt a release from God.  Again, I must reinterate that I am not preaching here, this is what is getting me thru this mess.  I must stress that we all need someone to come along side us to help us and we all believe in something or someone.  Even for those who don't believe in anything or anyone you still need a support system, a circle of friends that you can depend on when you are at your lowest, to be there to pick you up.  Also, you need someone outside the situation, like a counselor, who can give you good sound advice and possibly help you to resolve it.  I honestly don't know what I would have don't with my friends. People who are willing to go to bat for me and with me, pray with me, listen to me even when I cry on the phone.
     Then there are my cats - I just love my cats.  Even tho they are no substitute for a human being, it is nice to to have someone to come home to.  They need me, don't argue, love on me, annoy me, purr and just all around make it pleasant to be home.  However, they are not a substitute for human contact or my granddaughters.  The other thing that makes all this tough; is being single.  Singleness just isn't for everyone, and it isn't for me.  Altho, I haven't had much luck in finding anyone, not that I have been searching.  I don't search for men, I am letting God do the bring us together.