Battling with Depression

11-11-14 --- I would like to start off by saying thank you to all the past and current members of our military for their service.
   Now,  it has been 4 months since I hit bottom.  Please bare with me I will back track and fill you in on how I got to where I am today.  I have been through a lot over the last several years which seem to culminate into me thinking about driving into semis or into a bridge pylon.  I have come a long way since then. I just recently thought about and set up this blog because I want to hopefully help someone who is in the same situation that I was in just 4 short months ago.  I also like to use different colors as I type so don't be surprised when you see different colors.
       I am  a suicide survivor!  I am very thankful that I didn't attempt it, although I am not sure how close I was to at least making 1 attempt.  I do know that the thoughts of driving into semis and into bridge pylons terrified me so I started communicating with my new primary care physician at the Local Clinic.  I don't know why but I felt more comfortable telling him then anyone else I know, but I did.  During the course the course of the week after of 4th of July, well actually I suppose I should back up a little further, huh?  :)
       My son and I have been having issues.  I am a single mom of one child, a boy, who is 23 and is married to a beautiful young woman who had 2 children when they met then got married, they now have a 1yr. old beautiful baby daughter.  My son and I have been having issues for quite some time.  At one point I thought we had worked things out after we had a meeting at a local restaurant.  However, I started getting suspicious when he wouldn't respond to my email requests to have the girls.  
     The 4th of the July comes and I knew they were having a get together and I wasn't invited, to rub it in (I felt) I saw I picture on facebook of their family in my son's backyard having a picnic!  That was the "straw that broke the camel's back".  That picture sent me into a tailspin down into a hole that I just couldn't get out of on my own.  I was able to go to work but on the way home was the issue and the weekends.  While at work I was conversing with my new doctor via mychart email.  He was very alarmed by my thoughts especially when he found out that I had a method.  During the course of that week, after the fourth, we chatted back and forth and by Friday someone in his office had connected me via landline with the triage nurse in the Behavioral Health department of the Local Clinic.