Continuing On

11/13/14 --(7/11/14) So, I made it to the Psychiatrist's office, just in time, she was about to send out the "cavalry" because of the miss-communication of time.  Any way,  Dr. J asked me a series of questions making sure that I would be ok at home.  She was evaluating my state of mind so as to determine if I was a danger to myself or needed to be admitted to the hospital.  After about an hour, she prescribed an anti depressant and had me set up a series of appointments with a therapists because her belief, along with my pcp (primary care provider) that medication of this nature and therapy work best together.  I got to tell you, I have never been in this state ever, it is the worst feeling ever, to feel so low, and in a fog that you can't think straight.  The only thing that I was able to do was get up and go to work every morning, the drives home were always consumed with thoughts of driving into semis or the bridge pylon that wasn't far from where my son lives.  My nights were terrible, composed of crying and lousy sleep.  I really wasn't looking forward to the weekend.
      I felt somewhat better after talking to Dr. J, however I was still afraid of being alone at home all night and then there was the weekend.  By the time I got home there was an email from my friend in Janesville.  She tried to get a hold of me but had the wrong number, so I emailed her the right number and she then called me.  Her and I talked for quite a while.  It was nice to talk to somebody about what was going on with me.  During the course of the conversation she asked if she could call the Pastor and let him know what was going on.  She told me a few personal things that her and her husband had experienced that the Pastor was able to help them through; that is why she thought it was appropriate to bring him into this now.  I gave her permission to call him and share with him the things that I shared with her and that he could call me.
    I slept better last night, no asthma attack interrupted sleep, about stinkin time. I was still nice and cozy and didn't want to get out of bed. This morning got off on a later start for work cause the boss went hunting, no apparent work, from the guy that he normally gets work from.  No, jobs for himself right now, either.  Oh well, no biggie, at least I get to work.  I like it kinda chilly but I don't like it cold. Oh well, such is life in the midwest.