Present Day

11/29/14 -- I have to admit something:  I really wasn't looking forward to Thanksgiving and I am not looking forward to the other holidays that are coming up.  My son and I had some traditions that we used to do and I was hoping that we would be able to some how carry on at least one of the traditions.  It kind of is a good thing that I am on some of these medications because I am not wanting to buy alcohol to drink. I do want to drink some, but I know that drinking wouldn't be a good idea with meds that I am taking.  I am not the kind of person that does things despite what the doctor or pharmacist says not to do.  Not only that but I also know that drinking really wouldn't solve any problems, they will still be there in the morning. I just have never understood the point in drinking til your drunk, been around people who have done it, don't get it. Anyway.

   I did have a great time at my friend M's house for Thanksgiving, I spent the night and came home yesterday afternoon.  I just didn't want to leave right after dinner and drive while it was dark, and still it was thanksgiving.  I am so grateful that my friends treat me like family because my son, who is my immediate family, treats me likes an enemy.  That really sucks and is uncalled for!   

  Please forgive me if you don't like that I bring my beliefs into this, but for me, I have too because my beliefs are what help me.  Everyone has something or someone they believe in, for me it is Jesus Christ.  He has helped me so far and I know he will help the rest of the way.  I won't preach at you or shove my belief down your throat, this is just my story thru my depression/suicidal thoughts/depression and working through this crazy mess that has become my life for this season.  I have to say that having friends that stand by you no matter what. tI really does help to help to have someone to call, text, or email to say hey " I am struggling with this or that" so they can encourage you or get you additional help if there is that need.  

    When I got to M's house, on their front door they have a sign that says:  "This house is guarded by the Mastiff security Patrol" I think, something along that line. They have two English Mastiffs, girls. Those two dogs are something else. They like to play but you don't want to get two 100lb dogs all wound up, trust me. You will be flattened! Lol! When I sit on their couch I pretty much have to take off my glasses, at first, because Emma, will want to play. She really likes me, she lay next to me and just let me pet her.

    I have to say, I really didn't want to leave M's house but because I have responsibilities that I have to take care of, I had to, plus they were going to visit his dad before he underwent back surgery.  Also, my mom is planning on coming up so I had to come home. Reality just sucks, but that is where my belief in God comes in and my friends come in because between those two things they are a big help to me.

   That picture above is of my Bear cat, he is 14 years old and about 18lb  he is such a big baby.  He purrs like rolling motor or something.  He is my boy, I tell you, I don't know what I would do without him and Penni girl, the little kitty, when I come home.